Here’s an idea for an Obama ad: a montage of Clinton’s Sybillish personalities that have surfaced during the campaign with a solemn voiceover at the end saying, “Does anyone want this nut answering the phone?” How is it that she became the one who’s perceived as more equipped to answer that 3 a.m. call than the unflappable Obama? He, with the ice in his veins, who doesn’t panic when he’s losing or get too giddy when he’s winning, who’s as comfortable in his own skin as she’s uncomfortable in hers. There have been times in this campaign when she seemed so unhinged that I worried she’d actually kill herself if she lost. Every day, she reminds me more and more of Adele H., who also had an obsession that drove her insane.
It’s 3 a.m.; your children are tucked in their beds, safely asleep. Your neighborhood is quiet. Your husband has snuck out of the house to bang his best friend’s wife. Your nanny is breaking in her new knee pads in the basement with the neighbor’s 14-year old boy and his best friend. Worst of all, the voices in your head are telling you to kill again, because you’ve been off your meds for the past week and a half.
Yes, when that red phone rings at 3 a.m., do you REALLY want this woman answering the phone??
OK, so I’ve taken some creative liberties (poorly, I might add) with the scenario presented by Hillary Clinton’s “Red Phone” ad. I did it not because I’d make a crummy screenwriter (which is probably very true), but because the ad and it’s premise are just so (&^%$#@ absurd. First of all, if I were President, I’d be sound asleep at 3 a.m., and the phone would be answered by some low-ranking minion who drew the short end of the straw while playing poker and drinking games with the Secret Service. IF it was a serious emergency- I’m talking a “someone just nuked and roasted Kiev” kind of emergency, then and ONLY then would I be awakened. Once I’d awaken from my stupor just long enough to remember that Kiev is in Ukraine and not in New Hampshire, I’d go back to bed. Hey, I only care about Kiev only if it’s preceded by “chicken”.
Look, I don’t give a damn who’s answering the phone in the middle of the night. I want to know that the person responsible for dealing with the problems created when that red phone rings isn’t going to play dirty. I want to be certain that the President dealing with this problem is willing to play by the rules and not try to change the rules when the game isn’t working out quite the way they’d hope. I want to be able to rest assured that the President’s aides aren’t Democratic doppelgangers of Karl Rove.
I want that President to be Barack Obama, because his campaign hasn’t been a monument to panic and poor sportsmanship. I want Obama because he will play by the rules, and he’s not going to piss and moan when the going gets tough. I don’t give a damn about the red phone, because no President will be answering it. They’ll be dealing with the problems presented by the call. Based on what I’ve seen during this campaign season, I believe Barack Obama would be a far superior choice to Hillary Clinton (and BOTH of them would be a damn sight better than John McCain). Composure, equanimity, and strength of character should and do count, which is why Obama will get my vote during the Oregon primary.
Ah, the smell of desperation and panic is in the air…and yet Barack Obama has still managed to remain above the fray….
