Attention child pornography fans! Are your planning your next vacation? You’ll be in good company in Virginia, where over 20,000 computers contain your preferred reading materials! According to the Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force, nearly 20,000 Virginians are brimming with pedophiliac smut. The little town of Herndon, population 23,000, features over 1000 filth infested computers. Assuming roughly 1 computer per person, there’s about a 4 percent chance your average Herndon resident is a demented criminal pervert. Fortunately, we’ll soon have Hillary Clinton watching over all the nation’s children and outsourcing child porn to our NAFTA treaty partners.
Man, I’d heard that Virginia is for Lovers…I just had no idea that “lovers” meant the National Man-Boy Love Association. I suppose I probably shouldn’t too surprised; Virginia is home to some of the most Conservative, repressed, uber-Christian zealots known to mankind. Anyone who’s ever driven through Lynchburg can attest to that. A reasonably intelligent person can’t help but wonder how these harbingers of the holy channel their urges behind closed doors.
Yep, keep those urges repressed long enough, and before long they’re seeping out in all sorts of disturbing ways. Owning up to this sort of thing is easier said than done in Virginia, which apparently has no shortage of kiddie-porn fans in spite of the state’s reputation for upstanding morality and self-righteous, overt religiosity. Then again, what one does in the privacy of one’s home is one’s own business, no? Thank GOD for da Interweb!!
