March 31, 2008 5:39 AM

That "boom" you heard was my head exploding

The Republican Party of Galveston County believes God is Sovereign over the entire world and has divinely instituted civil government among men for His own glory and for the public good. For the administration of this institution He has ordained civil rulers to exercise their authority under Him in obedience to His laws in order to promote justice, restrain wickedness, punish evildoers, and protect the life, liberty and private property of the citizens and provide for domestic and national defense.

Bob was kind enough to drop this beauty into the comments yesterday, and it was simply more than I could pass up. If think about it, it was awfully nice of the Republican Party of Galveston County to define the role and place of government. After all, “GOP” is only one letter removed from “GOD” (I just thought of that one…all by myself. Mama would be SO proud!!)…so I’d imagine that Galveston County’s Republican God Squad is uniquely qualified to divine the intent of the Divine.

Of course, there’s the whole “separation of Church and State” issue, which seems completely lost on those holier-than-thou Jesus uber Alles zealots. Unbeknownst to (and unrecognized by) these idjits is the reality that not all Americans are Christians…and even fewer profess the slash-and-burn, if-you-ain’t-got-Jesus-you-ain’t-$#!t faith that characterizes the Texas Republican Party. To say that the Texas GOP has been hijacked by a cabal of ignorant, vocal, uber-Christian wingnuts wouldn’t begin to do justice to the looniness that has becoming increasingly characteristic of Republican politics in Texas. I honestly don’t think that most Republicans think as the minority of “Jesus told me to hate you” zealots do. They are, however, terrified of them. It seems that the lust for gaining and maintaing political power trumps Christian charity and even Christian doctrine if you’re a Texas Republican…and don’t for a minute think that the wingnuts in Galveston County are alone in their ignorang, self-righteous zealotry

What Would Jesus Do with these idjits? Personally, I think he’d be kicking their sorry asses from here to Thursday, but what do I know? I’m just a pagan, bleeding heart Librul too ignorant to see the Light. What I can do, though, is to offer a slight rewrite of the Republican Party of Galveston County’s resolution. See if this doesn’t work a little bit better for you:

The Brotherhood for the Everlasting Enrichment of Reasonableness and Groovy, Uninterrupted Travel believes God is a good idea, but not THE idea. To grant Him (and his zealous, kill-them-all-let-God-sort-‘em-out zealots) sole sovereignty and dominion) over the entire world will do little, if anything, to advance the public good. For the administration of this institution men have claimed the imprimatur of the Almighty to advance their own earthly, self-interested greed. They’ve exercise their authority in pursuit of their own agenda, enrichment, and self-aggrandizement. In doing so, they’ve camouflaged their corruption and self-righteousness with world-class piety in order to convince the American sheeple that they’re working to promote justice, restrain wickedness, punish evildoers, and protect the life, liberty and private property of the citizens and provide for domestic and national defense. And if you’re stupid enough to buy the fantasy they’re peddling, I have some shares in Bear Stearns I’d like to sell you.

There; that works MUCH better, don’tchathink? Any takers?

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on March 31, 2008 5:39 AM.

After eight years of lies and wingnuts, isn't it time for some sanity? was the previous entry in this blog.

As long as there's even a .5% chance, the fight will continue. Yes, if you're going to go down, you might as well go down in flames. is the next entry in this blog.

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