I don't know about you, but I get a lot of junk email asking me to take various on-line surveys. Some are legitimate, and I don't have much of a problem; it's the ones that aren't that piss me off. I'm like anyone else, in that I HATE having my time wasted. So, what's a boy to do? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, eh?
In the spirit of "mine is bigger than yours", then, I've decided to put together my own (somewhat tongue-in-cheek) survey. Some day, when I feel like being an @$$hole and inflicting myself on da Interweb, I'll figure out a way to send this to anyone with an email address. Annoying? Sure, but I deserve my moment in the sun...don't I?
What follows is my survey, followed by my answer in parentheses. Feel free to leave your answers- or potential questions- in the comments. Let the fun begin....
- Which television/cable news personality would you most like to see naked? (Kyra Phillips)
- Who do you think would be the best match as Sen. John McCain's running mate? (Oscar the Grouch)
- If you ruled the world, and could any one thing, what would it be? (I'd put a winning lottery ticket in my wallet)
- Which celebrity with lustful intentions would you most like to awake to tomorrow morning? (Elizabeth Banks AND Natalie Portman. Hey, it's my survey, remember??)
- You're the commissioner of the NFL. Which team would you blow up and sink into Lake Superior to become an artificial reef? (The evil, blood-sucking Green Bay Packers)
- If you had your choice, what do you think would be the most fitting monument to Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader's © unparalleled-in-the-scope-of-its-sheer-incompetence Reign of Error © ? (How about a sewage treatment plant in Berkeley? Oh...someone beat me to it? Damn....)
- You're the head of a television network. What reality show would you foist upon the American sheeple? ("Being James Dobson")
- Which Faux News Channel "journalist" would you most like to see stripped naked, covered in honey, and staked to a fire ant bed somewhere in west Texas? (ALL of them)
- If you were omniscient and all-powerful, which city would you obliterate? (Well, I don't know about which city, but I think I'd start with a certain ranch just outside Crawford, TX)
- What three words would you most like to hear come out of the White House? ("Dana Perino naked"...followed closely by "George W. Bush resigns")
- In a perfect world...? (Tony Snow would come out of the closet and admit that he and Joe LIEberman have secretly been lovers for years...and both of them will be naming names shortly)