April 5, 2008 5:29 AM

This must be God's way of telling you that you've got too damn much money

Each “Golden Age” takes a week to construct since each and every crystal is hand-applied, so only 20 of these beauties exist, one of which will be for sale at Selfridges, Oxford Street…. That is if you can muster up the ¬¨¬£20,000 ($39,750) price tag for the mega-bling.

Tired of using $20 bills for kindling? Does flying down Mulholland Blvd. at 80 MPH and flinging Benjamins out the window of your Maybach no longer hold the thrill it once did? Tired of buying NHL and NBA teams and moving them to the 20,000-seat state-of-the-art arena in the back yard of your Hollywood Hills manse? Are you bored with plying hookers with Cristal and the finest in Bolivian marching powder so they’ll use the gold-plated kneepads you keep around the house? Do the bi-weekly libidinous and lascivious bacchanals at your beach-front estate in the Hamptons no longer bring out the randy horndog in you? I know…strung-out, anonymous group sex is SO 1980s, isn’t it?

Yeah, I feel your pain. Well, I would if I had your bank account. Jeebus, what sort of self-absorbed, over-acquisitive, status-conscious, over-financed s—t-for-brains would seriously think that this is a “must have”? I suppose if you have far more money than common sense, this might be just the thing to do. Then again, you probably burn $100 for warmth on cold winter nights, no? Worst of all, this tricked-out Mac is…well, just plain butt ugly. If you’d waste almost $40,000 on something so thoroughly uglified…well, you really do have too damn much money.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on April 5, 2008 5:29 AM.

I can think of no more appropriate homage to The Worst President EVER © was the previous entry in this blog.

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