10) The President goes waterskiing instead of waterboarding.
9) Grand opening of the "Sandals Guantanamo Bay Beach Resort".
8) "Stress Positions" are only for Corporate CEOs, and the phrase "torture memo" refers only to long, painfully boring email sent by superiors.
7) "Enhanced interrogation techniques" now defined as ordinary techniques filmed in HD.
6) The phrase "Extraordinary Rendition" now used to describe American Idol performances.
5) Jack Bauer starts acting more like his brother, Eddie.
4) "Secret detention" means not telling your parents you had detention.
3) Calling Geneva Conventions "quaint" now seen as quaint.
2) "I can finally stop wearing my 'Who Would Jesus Torture?' bracelet."
1) Superman no longer having to fight for truth, justice and the Canadian way.