April 13, 2008 9:22 AM

Yessirree...karma can be a real b---h, can't she? Must. suppress. urge. to. laugh. maniacally.

The greatest impediment to Mr. Gonzales’s being offered the kind of high-salary job being snagged these days by lesser Justice Department officials, many lawyers agree, is his performance during his last few months in office. In that period, he was openly criticized by lawmakers for being untruthful in his sworn testimony. His conduct is being investigated by the Office of the Inspector General of the Justice Department, which could recommend actions from exonerating him to recommending criminal charges. Friends set up a fund to help pay his legal bills.

Every now and again, my belief in the overriding power of karma is validated…in spades. The news that Torture Boy, former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, is having trouble landing that high-paying gig that most loyal Bushies seem to view as their birthright brought a smile to my still not-nearly-caffeinated-enough face this morning. This is a case where a large, and tasty helping of Schadenfreude seems not only appropriate, but obligatory. I mean, what else do you get a man who for so long was willing to sacrifice this nation’s moral authority on the altar of 9.11 and fighting the war on terror? The surprising thing is that no one is demanding that Gonzales be disbarred for dishonesty and moral turpitude…until now. I mean, isn’t about time this maroon was disbarred??

TELL THE MAN WHAT HE’S WON, DON PARDO….

Of course, Republican apologists will sugar-coat Torture Boy’s plight with witticisms like “He is considering his opportunities in law and business…but after many years in public service he is considering his options carefully.” Roughly translated, this is Republican doublespeak for “Are you kidding me? Who’s going to be willing to throw six figures at a man who couldn’t tell the truth if Eva Longoria showed up with a pair of kneepads, the Swedish bikini team, and a tube of Astroglide??

Normally, I’d offer up some trite, warmed-over pablum about how I’m not normally one to revel in the suffering and privations of others. Yeah, right; if it wasn’t a lazy Sunday morning, I’d be dancing an Irish jig on the grave of Alberto Gonzales’ career, all while laughing maniacally. Who says there’s no justice in this world??

Yes, indeed; that Karma sure can be a real b—-h, can’t she?? And few are more deserving of her attentions than Torture Boy. In a perfect world, Alberto’s Gonzales’ next career would include the liberal use of the magical phrase:

“WOULDJA LIKE FRIES WITH THAT??” Snicker….

Now, if you’ll pardon me, I really must go. Every Sunday about this time I go to the park and steal candy from babies, and I hate to be late…. :-)

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on April 13, 2008 9:22 AM.

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