June 26, 2008 6:20 AM

Hey, don't blame us...we're just trying to propagate the species

Well, men of America...there is now scientific proof that none of us is to blame if we are inadvertently distracted by a bikini. It's simply biology or psychology or, perhaps, anthropology. The latest edition of The Journal of Consumer Research features a report titled, Bikinis Instigate Generalized Impatience in Intertemporal Choice. Simplified, the conclusion reached in this report after extensive scientific investigation is that bikinis turn men into boobs. The visual stimulus actually causes male thought processes to narrow and focus on one thing, to the exclusion of rational thought. In other words, we're baboons.

Hey guys, you know that fleeting moment of temporary insanity? When you're with your wife or girlfriend and suddenly you spy a woman coming your way...and before you it your eyes are riveted to her breasts...and your thoughts turn to...OK, you know where I'm heading with this, right? Well, guess what? It's not our fault! It's a biological imperative! Say what you will about men being pigs, or that we have a disturbing tendency to think with the wrong head (guilty on both counts), but men are apparently predispositioned to do our part to ensure the continued survival of the species. Right; in short, we're pigs...but biology IS destiny, no? All we're doing is what we're programmed to do. You might call it thinking with the wrong head, but we're just trying to do our part to ensure that the Earth doesn't devolve into a depopulted wasteland. Pretty selfless, don'cha think??

Hey, we're just doing what little we can with what little we have....

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on June 26, 2008 6:20 AM.

Coming soon to a town near you: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse was the previous entry in this blog.

In the latest poll, a ham sandwich pulled 25% is the next entry in this blog.

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