June 12, 2008 2:27 AM

In Denver, no one can hear you scream

Political activists planning protest rallies at the upcoming Democratic Convention in Denver have their stomachs in knots over a rumor about a crowd control weapon - known as the "crap cannon" - that might be unleashed against them. Also called "Brown Note," it is believed to be an infrasound frequency that debilitates a person by making them defecate involuntarily.

Wow...nothing says "freedom of speech and assembly" quite like a crowd control weapon designed to induce involuntary diarrhea among the unruly and uncooperative masses. What makes this story even better is that the City of Denver purchased this high-tech weaponry with $18 million in federal grant money. Your tax dollars at work, eh? Or not....

Yes, I can see it now....

THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION, SPONSORED BY KAOPECTATE!

And how, exactly, does a committed protester prepare for this sort of invasive assault on one's digestive tract? By following a high-fiber diet??

The good thing, I suppose, is that it will be easy to recognize the terrorists and America-hating Libruls (like there's really a difference) in Denver. They'll be the one stocking up on Kaopectate and Metamucil....

blog comments powered by Disqus

Technorati

Technorati search

» Blogs that link here

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on June 12, 2008 2:27 AM.

Giving ugly a bad name was the previous entry in this blog.

When you can't debate on the issues, character assassination is always a good option is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Contact Me

Powered by Movable Type 5.12