There's the "agony of defeat." And then there's this women's ice hockey score from the European Olympic pre-qualifying tournament: Slovakia 82, Bulgaria 0.
No, what you just read is not a typographical error: the Slovakian women's hockey really did defeat Bulgaria 82-0. THIS is why I watch SportsCenter, y'all....
Well, we could always start with the good news, I suppose. The Bulgarian goalie, who, probably to preserve her dignity, was not named in the story, did manage to stop 57 shops- and impressive number for any netminder at any level. The bad news is that she was pummeled by 139 Slovakian shots...and she'll probably be in therapy for months.
Sadly, it's not as if this was an isolated incident and just an apocalyptically bad day at the office for the Bulgarian women. No, the Bulgarians also managed to lose 30-1 to noted hockey power Croatia (he said, tongue firmly planted in cheek) and 41-0 to (not so very much) feared Italy. The leading Slovakian scorer had 10 GOALS...and no, there isn't a "mercy rule" in international hockey like the "ten-run rule" in Little League Baseball. Apparently, no one in the IIHF hierarchy had the foresight to think that any sort of "mercy rule" was necessary. If, for example, there was a 10-goal "mercy rule" in international hockey, this game would have lasted all of about 8 minutes, perhaps less.
Man, I wonder if there is any video of this massacree avaiable anywhere?? I've always had a thing for train wrecks....
I'm not at all certain what else I could really add after reading this:
Bulgaria was eliminated after scoring one goal and giving up conceding 192 in the tournament.
And you have to think that the goalie who gave up the one Bulgarian goal has probably been drummed out of the Croatian goalie fraternity. Even a blind squirrel finds an acorn every now and then, eh??
The sad thing is that it's not even like the Slovakian team is that good. Can you imagine what the top two teams in the world, the US and Canada would have done to the poor, helpless Bulgarians? Something tells me we won't be seeing the Bulgarian women's hockey team in Vancouver in 2010. Call it a hunch....
If sport is truly war by other means, then the Bulgarian women just experienced the athletic equivalent of the German blitzkrieg that steamrolled Poland in 1939. Yikes....
Game on, eh? Or not.
