Conceding it never will have mountains nor the Mediterranean, Mayor Bill White on Monday boasted Houston is "a green city that is beautiful to look at from the air and from the ground.".... White's comments came as he announced city participation in Million Trees + Houston, a multimillion-dollar public-private partnership to plant more than a million trees in the city in the next five years.
Let me just start out by saying that I truly admire Houston Mayor Bill White. Without a doubt, White is the best thing to happen to Houston politics since...well, since I don't know when. Endowed with world-class common sense and a genuine (if somewhat misplaced) love for Houston, White has decided to pull the city into the 21st century, kicking and screaming all the way if that's what it takes. Yes, he's a Democrat (Houston is surprisingly left-leaning to those of you not familiar with the city), but White's pragmatism and ability to get things moving forward and in something resembling the same direction transcends party affiliation. In short, Bill White just "gets it". He knows what the city needs, he has the skill, the power of persusasion, and the wherewithal to pull it off, and he's blessed with a self-effacing manner that makes people relax and realize that this isn't all about Bill White burnishing his political apple as he looks to move up the food chain...not that he doesn't richly deserve the opportunity.
Having lavished that praise on him, though, even I have to admit that I find his comments that Houston is "a green city that is beautiful to look at from the air and from the ground" to be rather humorous, if not altogether ludicrous. Let's face facts, y'all...Houston is the very definition of ugly and barely habitable. Virtually any city looks green from the air, and though I suppose beauty really is in the eye of the beholder, Houston truly is one of the most gawdawful fugly places outside of New Jersey. In order to find the beauty, you have to get past the refineries, the pollution, the absence of zoning...and, well, you know me; the list goes on. Granted, I'm not the most objective observer, but after living in the Houston-Galveston area for 3277 days, I think I can speak to this subject with some authority. Trust me on this one; Houston makes the term "butt ugly" feel horribly inadequate.
Don't get me wrong; I certainly applaud Mayor White's efforts to spruce up Houston...but no matter how much lipstick you put on this pig, it will, when all is said and done, still be a pig. Houston is fugly, and nothing short of blowing it up and starting over will change that. Planting trees, while certainly a wonderful and worthwhile endeavor, will not change the reality of the refineries in the Manchester neighborhood of Houston's East End spewing God-only-knows-what over the homes that border their properties. Fugly is as fugly does, and Houston long ago made it's deal with the Devil. Green may be a noble goal, but as long as the city remains the capitol of this country's petrochemical industry, the most prominent green will be what appears on the balance sheets of refineries and chemical plants. A million trees isn't going to change what fuels the economic engine of Houston.
If you want green, you really need to do what I did- leave and move to Portland. Uh, wait...on second thought, don't. The last thing we need In Portland are more people driving up the cost of housing.
