November 21, 2008 5:05 AM

If there really is a war on Christmas, WalMart just declared victory

THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD

(apologies to Keith Olbermann)

Daniel Henninger

Notwithstanding the cardboard Santas who seem to have arrived in stores this year near Halloween, the holiday season starts in seven days with Thanksgiving. And so it will come to pass once again that many people will spend four weeks biting on tongues lest they say "Merry Christmas" and perchance, give offense. Christmas, the holiday that dare not speak its name. This year we celebrate the desacralized "holidays" amid what is for many unprecedented economic ruin -- fortunes halved, jobs lost, homes foreclosed. People wonder, What happened? One man's theory: A nation whose people can't say "Merry Christmas" is a nation capable of ruining its own economy.

Stop-Using-Jesus-as-an-Excuse-P.jpgEvery now and again, I run across an argument so breathtaking ignorant in it's reasoning and rationale that I almost don't know where to begin...once I manage to stop laughing. Yesterday brought this silliness to my attention. Just when I thought I'd heard all possible irrational explanations for why our economy is circling the drain, I learn that it's really all because we don't properly honor Baby Jesus' birthday. Uh, WTF??? Yes, that's right, America; our economic failures are purely moral in nature. If we're willing to wage war on Christmas, if we're willing to diss Baby Jesus, what's to stop us from sabotaging our economic future? We're not even to Thanksgiving yet, and already Bill O'Reilly's army of wingnuts is bleating about the alleged "War on Christmas". Papa Bear must be SO proud....

Of course, Daniel Henninger just went to the head of the line in the race to supplant Glenn Beck as The Dumbest (&^%$#@ Human Being on the Face of the Planet © ...not an appellation that most lucid human beings would aspire to.

I'd be gleefully debunking Henninger's sorry excuse for an argument, but it looks like someone beat me to it:

After cataloging a series of complex economic factors that do relate to the financial crisis, Henninger concludes that what really went wrong is that "the steady secularizing and insistent effort at dereligioning America" led to "subprime personal behavior by borrowers and bankers."

Wow...the only thing missing in Henninger's argument is the obligatory rant about secular humanism and the evil Homosexual Agenda. Because we don't properly recognize and honor his Imaginary Friend, America is going to Hell in a handbasket? You see; it's all so very simple when you break things down scientifically, isn't it? Not only that, I do believe Henninger managed to invent a word: "dereligioning"??

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be picketing in front of a WalMart, wishing people "Happy Holidays" and just generally making an ass of myself. 'Tis the season, eh??

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on November 21, 2008 5:05 AM.

Hopefully, he's trying to pay for a vasectomy was the previous entry in this blog.

It's not like they're real people or anything.... is the next entry in this blog.

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