Iran orders man blinded for acid attack: There is something to be said for poetic justice, no? Repeat after me, y'all: WOMEN ARE NOT PROPERTY!
Why Teri Hatcher Associates Obama Winning With Her Underwear: File this one under "Questions I really DON'T need the answers to."
Police accuse Aloha man of crashing into Jack In The Box: Man, I realize that the drive-through lane was backed up, but creating your own lane through lobby is never a good idea.
Worker dies at Long Island Wal-Mart after being trampled in Black Friday stampede: It's called "Black Friday" for a reason, no? May the people responsible for this dastardly act rot in Hell.
Bush reflects on legacy: 'I'm leaving with the same set of values': Uh...let's see...incompetence, ineptitude, religious zealotry, and a disdain for the Constitution. Yep, I'd say he's pretty much got it nailed.
Zoo creates ornaments from reindeer droppings: I suppose we should be grateful that they weren't making breakfast cereal....
Playboy appearance for 'Real Housewives of Atlanta' star Kim Zolciak is anything but a reality: Well, sure, we're concerned about what's happening in Mumbai, but in REAL news....
Ted Haggard opens new business blocks from old church: Apparently, Haggard figured out how to wash the gay away....
Reports: Passing Universal Healthcare Could Kill The GOP: Great! Could I drive the stake through it's heart...assuming one can be found?
Update: Hawk fan says bathroom sex scandal "ruined my life": Well, when you get drunk at a football game and have sex with a stranger in a bathroom stall in front of an adoring audience, you can't claim to be surprised when things go south for you.
Rove says Obama economic team 'reassuring': Uh, shouldn't we be running for the exits when Evil Incarnate starts clucking approvingly about Obama's choices for his economic team??
Judge Broke Into Computer System To Restore His Pornography Privileges: Just when you might have been wondering what goes on underneath that robe when his sitting at the bench....
WAL-MART shoppers scuffle over last X-Box 360 console: Merry (&^%$#@ Christmas, @$$---e!! I'll bet your kid's as ugly as you, anyway....
Barbara Bush out of ICU after surgery: No word yet on whether doctors have been able to verify that Mrs. Bush was found to have no soul.
November 29, 2008 5:50 AM