The King is setting hearts ablaze for the holidays with his new scent of choice. FLAME‚Ñ¢, a new men's body spray by Burger King Corp., features the scent of seduction with the hint of flame-broiled meat.
Well, how about we just state the blindingly obvious and be done with it? I can think of NOTHING that says "I'm not getting laid tonight" than wearing a cologne that smells like...hamburger meat?? Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently, some marketing wizard at Burger King woke up after the end of a drunken three-day bacchanal and realized that what the world needs now...RIGHT NOW...is a cologne that smells like flame-broiled beef. Jeebus H. Koresh, y'all...what's next? Deer urine? Motor oil? Burning rubber? Cordite? The mind fairly boggles at the possibilities...NONE of which seem to have ANY potential whatsoever for assisting the male of the species in getting some nookie...and isn't that the primary only reason for wearing cologne??
"The scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat"? Well, I suppose calling it "Flame" made more sense than "Dateless and Destined to Remain So"...or, "Going Home Alone Tonight, Aren't You??".
This is why I don't eat red meat....
