Dictator Stalin voted third-greatest Russian: Jeebus H. Koresh, y'all...how many millions do you have to summarily excute in order to be voted #1??
Ex-Aides: Bush Never Recovered From Katrina: As badly as he (&^%$# things up, he didn't deserve to recover.
Agile Lie Detector for the iPhone: Man, is there anything my iPhone can't do??
Madoff Considering Insanity Defense Over $50 Billion Swindle: Wow...can you say "miscarriage of justice"?
Bush Opts Not To Interrupt Final Vacation As Middle East Crisis Escalates: No, because that would show leadership and legitimate concern for the well-being of others...two qualities this President has never displayed during his eight-year Reign of Error ©.
Broadcast networks have stopped sending full-time correspondents to Iraq: Wait...we're still at war in Iraq??
Axelrod: Warren invite a "good thing": Right...and apparently tolerance means giving a forum to the intolerant. Talk about being unclear on the concept....
The latest breaking news from ADN.com: "Gov. Sarah Palin is a grandmother.": MA, WE'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER TRAILER!!
Disgruntled Ex-Employee Kills Company Dog: You've just lost you're job. Do you: A) apply for unemployment, B) evaluate your career options, or C) shoot your bosses dog? The fact that I'm asking the question ought to tell you what the answer is.
FBI: Cary man's bank robbery note included name, address: Bank Robbery 101: If you must rob a bank, try to remember that the back of your pay stub does NOT usually make for an effective ransom note.