USS George H.W. Bush commissioned: Can someone...ANYONE...tell what it is that Bush 41 did that warrants an aircraft carrier being named after him? Or is mediocrity really it's own reward when you're a Republican?
Report: Madoff Scammed His Own Sister Out Of Millions: Is Bernard Madoff the Black Angel of Death...or merely just the worst sort of human scum?
Obama recommits to repeal "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy: Doing the right thing...ur doin' it right....
Iranian Cleric Sex Tape: No, that's not a typo. Apparently, hypocrisy is not the sole province of born-again, holier-than-thou Christians.
ABC News runs Mormon puff piece: Because real journalism is just too damn much work...especially when all you have to do is parrot the propaganda you're spoon-fed.
Report: U.S. rejected Israeli plea to attack Iran: Are you as astonished as I am that Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader © passed on the opportunity to start another war...one that neoConservatives have been clamoring for since Day One of the Bush Administration?
The world will never be safe until Scrabble is banned: Or Iran is bombed...whichever comes first.
Hyundai takes Detroit car-of-the-year award: GM executives immediately threated to retaliate against Hyundai by having their engineers reverse-engineer kimchi.
Rescuers praise brave boy impaled on hay pitchfork: OK, so your weekend sucked. At least you weren't impaled on a manure-encrusted pitchfork by a teenage girl.
Warning over fake vodka bottles: Here's a heads-up...if the label says "Vodak" and the liquid smells like nail polish, you might want to hold off on that White Russian.