John McCain won't let Cindy go on 'Dancing With The Stars.': OK, so her husband's a dick...but the Borg Queen can dance??
Bush Joins the Ranks of the Unemployed: Hallelujah! With any luck, he'll soon be joining the ranks of the imprisoned.
Wealthy Men Give Women More Orgasms: Well, that certainly doesn't bode well for me....
Network VP Dismisses Military Pundits Scandal: 'Everyone Understands' Pentagon Spreads Propaganda: Ah...everybody's doing it, ergo, it's OK. Don'tcha just LOVE situational ethics?
Rick Santorum is upset that Obama and McCain will join forces: Heaven forbid that Democrats and Republicans should actually work together to try and solve this country's problems. Memo to Little Ricky: being the "loyal opposition" is not synonymous with being obstructionists.
Obama: No More "Anything Goes": This, in and of itself, will be a welcome change from the past eight years.
Richardson City Council limits overnight parking in front of residences: Having apparently solved all other problems facing the city, this suburb of Dallas will now turn the really pressing issue: furniture and appliances on front porches.
Lawmaker wants to put sex back into sex education: Well, children do tend to lend better experientially, right?
Avoiding a mid-life crisis 'down there'. Do men's penises shrink as they age?: Please say no. Pleasepleaseplease....
Man threatens wife by turning on chainsaw in fight: Memo to the male half of the species: this is NOT recommended as an effective way to supporting your argument when engaged in a debate with your significant other.
After failing to hold Bush accountable for eight years, CNN plans to keep Obama's administration "honest": Yeah, 'cuz Lord knows you just can't trust dem g-----n Libruls.
Panda Orgy: Apparently, it was a slow news day at the national zoo.