Nine Muslim Passengers Kicked Off Plane: This is what you get when you engage in the high crime of Flying While Swarthy ©.
Republicans To Flee DC For Obama Inauguration: Let's hope they're doing so on one-way tickets....
Fox News Airs "Magic Negro" Message On New Year's Broadcast: Apparently, being "Fair and Balanced" means gives bigots equal time.
Bush Met Father Of Pardoned Housing Scammer A Second Time, White House Pleads Ignorance: Pardons For Sale. We have them.
Seattle police shoot, kill man in German uniform: The uniform was tres tacky, but the goose-stepping was really out of hand....
Bolton calls on Obama to launch 'meaningful efforts at regime change' in Iran: Skilled political insiders immediately recognized Bolton's message as code for "Bomb, bomb, bomb...bomb, bomb Iran...."
Futurists tip we'll all be enjoying more sex in 2009: Well, except for me, most likely....
More than a thousand cars torched on New Year's Eve: Man, do the French know how to do New Year's Eve up right...or what???
Police hire protection in Malmö suburb: Uh, wait...if the police need protection, then who's protecting us??
New Norway law bans buying of sex: However, sex, to the delight of Norwegian jewelry store owners, can still be purchased via barter.
Sons' love for missing dad plumbs the ocean's depths. After more than 65 years, brothers find his sunken World War II submarine: If the US Navy can't find it, what makes you think that you...oh, never mind....
Millionaire lawyer fined over sex antics at Gleneagles Hotel: Apparently, he wasn't amenable to limiting himself to merely singing "Dick in a Box".
