Topless coffee shop proposed for small Maine town: I don't know about y'all...but when I stagger into a coffee shop first thing in the morning, I'm normally not nearly lucid enough to care about what, if anything, the barista is wearing.
Greta Van Susteren Slams CNN For Insulting Sarah Palin: What, like Palin DOESN'T deserve to be roundly ridiculed for her self-absorbed corruption and sense of entitlement? And who cares what Great Van Susteren thinks, anyway?
Apple's Keyboard-Free Laptop: Yes, now everything is just a few hundred clicks away...unless you want to use your Mac to do actual work instead of just dicking around.
iTunes Price Cut: Apple Announces Tiered System, DRM-Free Tunes: And late yesterday, Apple announced that they will actually pay customers to download the entire collected works of Barry Manilow- "What the Hell; no self-respecting music lover would buy this crap, anyway...."
Police: Man Arrested After Biting Squad Car: Hmm...one more thing for that list of things I probably shouldn't put in my mouth....
Feinstein and Rockefeller publicly disapprove of Obama CIA choice: Not surprising, I suppose, given that they've consistently supported Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader © and his illegal torture policies over the past few years.
Burning Urge Sends Accused Smoker To Jail: When a bounce asks you to extinguish your cigarette because of Oregon's new anti-smoking law, the correct response is NOT to set the no-smoking sign on fire.
Mesa biggest 'boring' city in U.S., mag lists: In colloquial Spanish, "Mesa" actually means, "Ain't nobody gettin' laid here tonight, yo...."
L.A. water cops get some muscle in drought: "Ma'am put down the garden hose, or I'll shoot!"
Worried parents can track children with GPS locator watch: That whirring sound? Nah, that's just the helicopter parents.....
Wackiest home insurance claims revealed: No, for the last time...your insurance company will NOT pay for a new bed because you wore out the old one by having so much sex in it.
Like a Virgin: The Press Take On Teenage Sex: Of course it's true; it was on the Internet, wasn't it??