Sen. Nelson: Senate's compromise bill has 'adjustments downward,' not 'cuts.': Right. Our economy isn't "circling the drain", it's "readjusting performance expectations downwards in a circular motion". Got it. Thanks for clearing that up, Senator!
Mugabe's Birthday Binge: 2,000 Bottles Of Champagne, 8,000 Lobsters, 3,000 Ducks: Meanwhile, Zimbabwe's versions of "Joe Sixpack" are dying of cholera because they can't find clean drinking water.
Bar Refaeli Lands SI Swimsuit Cover: That's right, guys; it's that time of year again!
Gitmo Detainee's 'Genitals Were Sliced With A Scalpel,' Waterboarding 'Far Down The List Of Things They Did': Greetings from America, land of the free and home of the...oh, never mind....
Artist Sues The A.P. Over Obama Image: When you're the Associated Press, "fair use" is whatever you want it to be.
Fred Barnes says global warming is a myth because it was cold this winter: OK, remind me again how someone with a single-digit IQ manages to get a high-paying gig as a columnist??
Report from the Press Conference: My President has a brain!! AND he speaks in complete, intelligent, erudite sentences. How cool (and long overdue) is that??
You Try to Live on 500K in This Town: OK, I'll man up and give it a shot. Where do I sign?
Chicken manure odor closes Rhea schools: In yet another Tennessee Chamber of Commerce moment....
Pentagon reports U.S. troop obesity doubles since 2003: Well, fat soldiers ARE easier to hide behind....
Farmer Dating Site Matches Rural Mates: Lonely SWM, farmer, seeks like-minded SWF. Must love livestock and romantic walks through hog runs.
Sen. Ensign: It's 'Fearmongering' To Suggest That Any Teachers Would Lose Their Jobs: Somewhere, in a country with a tropical climate and no extradition treaty, Herbert Hoover is snickering in his beer.