Nearly 75% of ex-Bush staff seeking jobs unemployed: Because when you get right down to it, karma can be a real b---h, no? Indeed...and yes, that does put one big-ass grin on my mug, knowhutimean??
Tulsa passengers try out TSA's full-body scanners: Bend over. Grab your ankles. Wide stance. Don't worry, we have plenty of Astroglide.
The Top 11 Songs To Pump Iron To: Or, 11 songs that would make me want to stay the Hell away from the gym.
The other dark meat: Raccoon is making it to the table: And, no...it DOESN'T taste just like chicken. Who knew that roadkill could be served in so many, uh...appetizing ways??
Sex in the monastery: A sex scandal in a Buddhist monastery? Yep, just a tragic story of monk, he see...monk, he do. ;-)
Hammer time: Minn. clerk uses tools to repel thief: U can't touch this. No, really....
Teenage Girl Facing Child Porn Charges: Jeebus...it would be SO much easier if they just went back to having sex with teachers....
Digitally Dumped: She's Just Not That N2 U: Breaking up via text message is SO 2007. Anyone with ANY grasp of pop culture would do the deed via Twitter.
Ridge: We were wrong to torture: And yet you went ahead and did it anyway. Somehow, "Oops, my bad!!" doesn't really seem sufficient, knowhutimean??
Nude man Tasered going to Bay City church: Going to church naked. In February. In Michigan. WE GOT SHRINKAGE!!
Barnes: When Bristol Palin Said That Abstinence 'Is Not Realistic At All,' She Meant That It 'Actually Is Realistic': Yes, it would appear that we've crowned a new Dumbest (&^%$#@ Human Being on the Face of the Planet ©. Man, Fred Barnes makes Glenn Beck look like a rocket scientist, doesn't he?
Sanford Offers Unemployed South Carolina Resident 'Prayers' Instead Of Stimulus Funds: Mark Sanford to South Carolina: GO F--K YOURSELVES. I want to be President.