Oozing Through Texas Soil, a Team of Amoebas Billions Strong: Or, more accurately, it looks like scientists have discovered the Republican base. Scientists found the vast and sticky empire stretching 40 feet across, consisting of billions of genetically identical single-celled individuals, oozing along in the muck of a cow pasture outside Houston. Don'tcha just LOVE science??
This Is Why You Shouldn't Loan Out Your Home For Drug Murders: Yeah, the local constabulary tends to look down on those sorts of shenanigans.
Pink Taco, Glendale's Fox Sports Grill close: Hmm...perhaps the real problem was that the name was TOO subtle for most guys.
Kile Wygle Gets DUI On Motorized Bar Stool: Because it was bound to eventually happen to someone, right??
Giant Burger Of Doom Now Comes With A Side Of Controversy: A warning label? On a 4800-calorie ballpark hamburger that's little more than a heart attack on a plate? Eh, say hello to the nanny state....
Cuban Gynecologist Wants To Sell You A Car!: Yep, that's right...wait for it...IT'S A VAGINA, NOT A CLOWN CAR!! Sorry, I've been waiting for weeks to work that in. You can go now.... ;-)
Take Your
Daughter Gun To Work Day : This is Texas we're talking about, damn it!! Whaddya mean I can't take my gun to work?Ashley Biden Alleged Cocaine Tape Seller Withdraws Under Fire: Yeah, but someone out there still has a video of Biden going down on Eric Cantor in the House gym. Daddy ain't gonna be happy about this....
Take Two: GOP Introducing Another Budget!: The party of "Got 0 Plans" introduced a new word into the American political lexicon: "fudget"...because when you're making it up on the fly, this is about all you can reasonably expect.
Massachusetts Girls Soccer Coach Resigns Over Hilarious, Possibly Insane Email: Sure, they're only six and seven years old...but really, are kids EVER too young to learn that it's about the survival of the fittest?
April Fools 2009! The Best Pranks Of This Year: It's all fun and games...as long as it happens to someone else, right??
Will Your Marriage Last? Take The Test!: Yet another WWJD public service. Y'all can thank me later....