May 10, 2009 7:48 AM

Being a Christian doesn't have to mean being a dick, Mr. Robertson

THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD

(apologies to Keith Olbermann)

Pat Robertson

HOST: Meanwhile, the New Hampshire legislature has also voted in favor of gay marriage, but Pat, the governor there still isn't sure if he will approve that bill.

ROBERTSON: Lee, we haven't taken this to its ultimate conclusion. You got polygamy out there. How can we rule that polygamy is illegal when you say that homosexual marriage is legal. What is it about polygamy that's different? Well, polygamy was outlawed because it was considered immoral according to biblical standards. But if we take biblical standards away in homosexuality, what about the other? And what about bestiality and ultimately what about child molestation and pedophilia? How can we criminalize these things and at the same time have constitutional amendments allowing same-sex marriage among homosexuals. You mark my words, this is just the beginning in a long downward slide in relation to all the things that we consider to be abhorrent.

OK, so I realize that there is nothing that comes out of Pat "I'm not perfect, just forgiven" Robertson's mouth that should be taken at face value. Or even seriously. Still, how many drooling acolytes hang on his every word and send him money as if he was some sort of Fundamentalist Pope? For years now, Robertson has been letting his brand of hateful Christianity run wild without a thought to (or a care for) whom he might hurt. His latest broadside tying gay marriage to the descent into "legalized child molestation" is just another example of what can happen when you give a bigot a camera and a microphone.

What I fail to understand is why so many hateful bigots like Robertson have so much invested in "protecting" "traditional" marriage? As if there's one- and only one- box that the definition of the institution must fit into. Is it about procreation? Not every couple marries to have and "legitimize" children. Does this then mean that couples who marry but don't intend to have children are somehow "less married" than those who do make the decision to procreate? And how, really, is a childless heterosexual couple any different than a childless homosexual couple? Is one a less committed (and therefore less serious) relationship because it's comprised of two members of the same sex?

What is it about bigots like Robertson and his ilk that allows them to feel that they have the perfect right to set rules of conduct for society as a whole? If you don't believe in gay marriage, then you probably shouldn't commit yourself to one. That doesn't mean that there aren't people out there every bit as committed to their partner and their relationship as you are. Does that somehow make them less worthy of enjoying the same legal rights that accrue to straight couples? Does that convey upon good, God-fearing Christians the right to discriminate against gay couples simply because they deplore their lifestyle?

I deplore the self-righteous certitude of trolls like Pat Robertson, but you're not going to hear me seriously discussing how to render them second-class citizens. Homosexuals who wish to marry are simply asking for the same rights and benefits that married couples enjoy. I don't know about you, but where I come from, "equal rights and benefits" is not a synonym for "special rights and benefits".

Silly me; during my Lutheran Sunday School days, I remember being taught novel concepts like "God is Love" and that Jesus loves all unconditionally. Perhaps if I hadn't been fiddling with my baseball card collection in the back of the classroom, I'd have picked up on the disclaimer: "Unless, of course, you're gay...in which case you're going straight to Hell. Do Not pass "Go". Do not collect $200."

Lest y'all wonder, I'm not some sort of advocate for gay rights. I'm in fact profoundly ambivalent when it comes to homosexuality. It's just simply not an issue; who you love is a very personal and private decision, one that shouldn't be open to legal discrimination. What I am is an advocate for equal rights. Here's an idea for self-righteous "Christian" zealots like Pat Robertson: how about losing the righteous indignation and cracking your Bible now and again. You might just discover that there's far more in there to justify loving your fellow man than to hating and despising him for thinking, believing, and living differently.

Now can we PLEASE stop using Jesus as an excuse for being an ignorant, hateful dick?

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on May 10, 2009 7:48 AM.

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