....I hope you've been training, because the Portland Air Sex Championship is just around the corner. No, I'm not making this stuff up. It's on da Interweb...so it must be true, eh? ;-)
....If you're 72, can bag 18-year-old girls, AND be Prime Minister of Italy...well, dude, you're my new hero.... ;-)
....Thank you for your concern about the 18 dogs I have in my apartment. They're pit bulls, and they're for personal protection. The ducks in the bathtub, however, aren't mine...though they do look quite tasty.
....You know, I had NO idea that the menstrual cycle of a Supreme Court candidate could be such an important, make-or-break issue. I'm really going to have to begin paying closer attention to the nuances of these debates....
....Are you like me? Laughing at the far Right's discontent because their hero, Gen. David Petraeus, has come out strongly against Guantanamo AND torture? Man, it has got to be tough to be a patriot these days.
....Only in Texas could a word like "chubbing" not get you slapped by your female companion. Could it be that Texas legislators just can't spell "filibuster"??
....Let this be a lesson to you: do NOT attempt to conduct a robbery on the Hillsboro Senior Bowling League's Pound-a-Punk Day. You WILL live to regret it.
....You live in Texas. Someone steals your cellphone. Should you be charged with murder for shooting that person, thus depriving them of their mortal coil? Of course not, silly. This is Texas we're talking about.
....There we were, out enjoying a beautiful, warm Seattle evening, when it happened. Thank GOD for the fast work of the Seattle Police Zombie Response Squad!
....OK, so we all know that dating can be stressful- especially that all important first date. In the interest of public service then, here are some helpful hints on how to successfully negotiate that first date and get to the Holy Grail- a second date. Asking your date if she swallows is generally NOT recommended.
