....Uh, no officer, they're not bongs. They're...uh, they're vases. Yeah, that's it; they're vases! Wait, you mean people use these vases to smoke weed? How DARE they! I had NO idea that my customers would engage in such blatantly illegal behavior....
....I'm from the government...and I'm here to...oh, fuhgeddaboudit. Just gimme your (&^%$#@ money.
....Are you like me? Trying to figure out if you've got a really bad host for the Tony Awards on your hands? Here's a hint: your first clue might be that he's straight.
....Who knew that teaching young female swimmers the breaststroke was both immoral and illegal? Well, except that in this case there was WAY too much stroking of the breasts involved.
....Damn, but Betty White's led an interesting life. After having sex with the Marx Brothers, she lost all her money gambling. Then things got wierd....
....Is sex addiction a real disorder? Or is just a fancy name for wanting to have a lot of sex...all the time...with anything that's not nailed down??
....You know, if Barack Obama was anything resembling competent, the federal government wouldn't have had to bail out financial institutions- prior to his taking the Oath of Office.
....For someone who has the intellectual candlepower of a damp sponge, it makes sense that Sarah Palin would be stealing ideas. But plagiarizing New Gingrich? Ick....
....Better to be thought a complete (&^%$#@ moron than to be John McNelis and remove all doubt, eh?
