July 15, 2009 4:53 AM

Today's signs that the Apocalypse is upon us

....Britain's National Health Service has started a sex education campaign promoting "an orgasm a day". Personally, I was all for it...until I stared to understand that the campaign is directed at children. Now it just feels creepy. Cue the paroxysms of righteous outrage in 4...3...2....

....First, we'll kill all the lawyers: Wells Fargo is suing itself. No, that's not a typo. It may be the ultimate in self-loathing, however.

....Today's Headline of the Day: Palin will campaign for Democrats. Uh, wait...did Hell just freeze over?

....So John McCain is defending Sarah Palin, saying that she'd make "a fine President"? Yeah, like he's going to admit to being responsible for the monster he created? Since when do Republicans accept responsibility?

....America's biggest problem? Apparently we "keep marrying other species". Yeah, right...it's a MANBEARPIG!!

....When Republicans lie, cheat, and steal, it's "inspired, principled leadership". When Democrats do it? Why, of course, silly...it's demagoguery and partisanship of the worst sort.

....Another strong candidate for Headline of the Year: Woman beats off sex pervert with stick. Damn, I wish I could take credit for that one....

....If you're having sex with your sister-in-law, I'm not sure you have a right to complain when she tries to slash your throat with a box cutter.

....A Christian group wants to ban Bruno because it says the movie is offensive and...wait for it...loaded with inappropriate sexual content. Here's what will really shock everyone: the group is from Texas. Yeah, whodathunkit?

....Has your significant other accused you of being a lousy lover? Having trouble negotiating your partner's erogenous zones? Well, fear not, Lothario...for a trip to Berlin's "Amora Sex Academy" might be just what you need to help you get your schwerve on.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on July 15, 2009 4:53 AM.

Another Bhopal Chamber of Commerce moment was the previous entry in this blog.

Hypocrisy: sometimes words just don't do it justice is the next entry in this blog.

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