August 25, 2009 6:43 AM

Today's conclusive proof of the decline and fall of Western Civilization

Fantasy sports have crept their way into every aspect of our sporting lives, but we have finally crossed the line from mania into madness. When you can buy injury insurance for your fantasy football players, we're through the looking glass. Two brokers at Long Island's (of course) Intermarket Insurance Agency are offering fantasy football indemnity plans. Drop a little extra coin on the side and if one of your top draft picks goes down to injury in real life, you can recoup your league fees, transactions fees, and even the cost of the 15 fantasy football magazines you've been wallpapering your bedroom with for the last two months.

I LOVE football. As a former quarterback, I've always loved playing and watching the game, and autumn has always been my favorite time of year. Having said that, however, I'll freely admit to not "getting" the concept of fantasy football. No matter how hard I've tried- and I have- I just can't wrap my head around the idea that fantasy football is anything more than a vast time suck.

A few years ago, I actually let someone in my office talk me into joining a fantasy league. I wasn't overly thrilled at the idea, but I figured that it just might be an interesting experience. I went to our draft day, picked my team...and then didn't do a thing for the entire rest of the season. Even given my lethargic approach, my team still finished 8-8...so here's my question. Is any activity where you can achieve and maintain mediocrity while doing absolutely nothing even worth engaging in? Sure, I can understand that fantasy football provides some folks with the feeling that they have a stake in games they might otherwise not care about. Me? I'll watch just about any game that has the word "NFL" attached to it, so I don't feel as if I need to generate any sort of artificial interest. Besides, I still don't get how anything with the word "fantasy" attached to it is interesting...unless it occurs behind closed doors with a member of the opposite sex.

'Course, this being America, I suppose it was only a matter of time before someone figured out how to make a few bucks off one of the main diversions of horny dateless males. What was once a harmless waste of time and brain cells has now become another example of how virtually anything can be monetized. Recession? What recession? With creative, entrepreneurial minds like this, can it really be long before this country is once again on the path to total world domination?

Game on, eh?

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on August 25, 2009 6:43 AM.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt was the previous entry in this blog.

Show us the birth certificate!!!!!!! is the next entry in this blog.

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