....One Man's Old Fake Plastic Penis Utility Belt Is Another Man's Sports Memorabilia: How much would you pay for a used Whizzinator? How about $750? Or is this just the Universe's way of telling you that you have too damn much money at your disposal?
....Sarah Palin: Professional Quitter.
....When is an upgrade not an upgrade? When it's new, improved, thinner...and slower??
....Ah, poor Carrie Prejean. How long will Christians be persecuted? Why must you make baby Jesus cry?
....A Guide To The Bull#$@% They Say In Car Commercials. You mean someone actually understands what those fools are saying?
....Is Glenn Beck Finished? Ah, be still my foolish heart....
....Man, it must suck to be Erin Andrews these days....
....Our Embassy in Afghanistan Is Guarded by Sexually Confused Frat Boys. Boys will be boys...which means that you will never, EVER, see this in any Mainstream Media outlet.
....If Gummi Bears are disgusting, then a 5-lb. Gummi Bear ought to be really awesome revolting, no?
....Man without pants accused of harassing neighbor's horse. Uh, is further commentary really necessary?