(Credit and inspiration for this silliness go to Erin O'Brien)
1- I had seven concussions in six months during my last season playing soccer while in college.
2- Some people think that explains a lot.
3- I think marijuana should be legalized...because I would really, really, REALLY like to get stoned again.
4- I LOVE hockey...and yet I never learned how to skate. I can hold my own in a pair of in-line skates, but I can't ice skate to save my life.
5- I grew up in far northern Minnesota. I was disappointed that I wasn't Canadian.
6- The coldest day I can remember? How about 54 degrees below zero? SHRINKAGE!! WE GOT SHRINKAGE!!
7- I have ADD. The worst part of it is that I can't balance a checkbook to save my life.
8- I LOVE sex...and I'm good at it.
9- I'm truly, madly, deeply in love with someone who agrees with #8. Yeah, it's every bit as fun as you might think.
10- I'm a Minnesota Vikings fan, but try as I might, Brett Favre just looks odd in purple.
11- I lived in Texas for 10 years. I hated it. Houston is an armpit...and it really only looked good in my rearview mirror.
12- I could live in Albuquerque, NM. Seriously.
13- I was 49 years old before I began to get to know myself. I still haven't learned the secret handshake.
14- I miss Austin, TX. I wish it was a suburb of Portland.
15- The most challenging aspect of my ADD is dealing with the (sometimes almost debilitating) anxiety that is part of the package. Imagine living in fear...of everything.
16- I grew up dreaming of being a quarterback...until my high school coach decided I was an offensive tackle (all 150 lbs. of me)
17- If I roll into the parking lot and you hear Kenny Chesney at high volume, you can bet I'm pondering my place in the world.
18- My first memory is of sitting in front of the television on the day JFK was assassinated. I remember seeing Parkland Hospital, but I had no idea what was happening. I was 3 1/2.
19- I have never spent a night in a hospital.
20- I have never been a father.
21- I have no relationship with my own family.
22- I was almost shot by a Turkish soldier.
23- I've lived and worked in three different war zones.
24- I once met the President of Kosovo. He was underwhelmed.
25- My first published piece of writing was published in a political magazine in Kosovo. In Albanian. I have no idea how well it was translated.
26- I spent two months working in the Houston area after Hurricane Ike decimated southeast Texas. If I live to be 105 and never see anything like that again, I will die a very happy man. There are no words to describe the sorrow I feel when I think of the suffering and the devastation I saw every single day.
27- I was a 2nd Lieutentant (MP) in the Army Reserve when I was 20. I was the youngest member of my platoon. My Sergeant Major was old enough to be my grandfather.
28- One thing I do miss about Texas: Tex-Mex.
29- I lay awake one Friday night in a hotel room in Williamsburg, VA, when Hurricane Rita hit southeast Texas, not knowing whether I would have a home left to return to. Thankfully, I did.
30- A Serbian (not so) secret police officer once threatened to kill me. He wasn't kidding.
31- The sound of basketballs bouncing on a hardwood floor is still magical.
32- I'm still not a member of the Mile High Club.
33- If not for a severe case of White Man's Disease, I might have been an NBA point guard.
34- I'm most comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt, but part of me really wants an Armani suit and a pair of hand-made Italian leather shoes.
35- One of my favorite activities as a child was making chocolate chip cookies.
36- In high school, I had SERIOUSLY impure thought about Mrs. Arnold, my 10th-grade homeroom and English teacher. Man, the things I wanted to do to her....
37- I'm allergic to cigarette smoke.
38- I feel naked without my iPhone.
39- I am completely, irrationally terrified of rats. Not mice. Not hamsters. Rats. Blech....
40- My best score for an 18-hole round of golf is 87.
41- My best score for nine holes is 39.
42- I can remember my first sexual experience- and everything about it- as if it was yesterday.
43- No, I haven't kept track of the number of women I've slept with- more than 10, less than 70. Close enough.
44- When I was a senior in college, a group of freshman girls tackled me and painted my toenails. No, I really didn't put up any resistance.
45- I can still remember everything about the exact moment I heard that John Lennon was shot. I was stoned out of my mind in a recliner.
46- I hate avocados. They're really only useful as projectiles.
47- I HATE video games. Not only do I suck at them, they're a horrible time suck.
48- I often wonder what kind of father I would have been. I'll never know.
49- Be good to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. Trust me on this; I know of which I speak.
50- One of the most frustrating things about my ADD is that my mind always feels as it's racing like an engine in second gear at 70 MPH.
51- I once broke my little brother's collarbone by pushing him off the top of a slide. I don't remember feeling terribly guilty about it.
52- I ran away from home when I was 11 years old. The Minneapolis police caught me at the Greyhound bus depot.
53- I'm righthanded, but I taught myself how to dribble a basketball with my left hand when I read that Jerry West could dribble equally well with either hand. I wore his number (44) whenever possible.
54- I can't carry a tune to save my life- unless I'm behind the wheel of my car and I'm singing along with Kenny Chesney.
55- I haven't bought a new pair of underwear in at least three years. The only person who sees them doesn't care.
56- I adore dogs...even though I was a cat person for the first 44 years of my life.
57- I believe that people can change and become healthier, happier, and more fulfilled. I'm living proof...but it's still a work in progress.
58- My first car was a '67 Ford Fairlane that I paid $53 for. It was worth every penny...and not much more.
59- I never learned how to swim.
60- I'm scared of water.
61- I once had a cat for 15 years. Makis came into my life when he was four weeks old, and he moved with me more times than I can remember- including cross-country three times. He's still by far the longest-lasting relationship I've ever had.
62- I love salted hot chocolate.
63- If I ever write my memoirs, the current working title is "I Owe It All To Coffee and Adderall."
64- I used to have impure thoughts about Natalie Portman. Sometimes I still do.
65- I saw Wayne Gretzky score his first goal in a Los Angeles Kings uniform.
66- I have a thing for (very) expensive aviator's watches. My current objet d' amor is one made by Breitling. It retails for at least $2000. I WANT.
67- An former lover once referred to me as the best in my class. I'm still not quite sure what that meant, but I'm thinking it was a compliment.
68- I once ran a mile in 4:54.
69- I stopped going trick or treating when I was 12. I still had candy from the previous Halloween, and it seemed pointless to go back for more.
70- If I could be anywhere in the world with anyone I wanted to be with, I'd be sitting on a log on the beach at Oceanside, OR, with my girlfriend. No words- or anything else- would be necessary.
71- I've been married- and divorced- twice. This is what happens when you don't know who you are. Thankfully, that's beginning to change. Pehaps someday I'll get it right.
72- When I was a kid, I got food poisoning from my mother's egg salad...and later from her cherry pie. I still have trouble even thinking about eating either one.
73- I had LASIK surgery almost six years ago. I now have 20/15 vision. There are still days when I find myself looking around with a sense of wonder and disbelief.
74- My favorite sexual position? All of them. ;-)
75- I am, without a doubt, truly the luckiest most astonishingly blessed man on the face of this planet...or any other. I do not possess words in my vocabulary adequate to describing how fortunate I feel to be where I am. Amazing what a few kicks in the ass can do, eh?
76- Sixteen years later, and I STILL miss the Minnesota North Stars...and Norm Green still suck.
77- In my next life, I want to be a roadie for Kenny Chesney.
78- If money was no object, I'd buy a golf course...and I'd rename it the Bongwater Country Club. Y'all could play any time you want.
79- Over the past 26 years, I've left Portland four times. I've ultimately returned every time...so I'm finally beginning to understand that there might be a message in their for me.
80- If I could drive any car I wanted, I'd have a Mercedes E-class parked in my driveway...and no, you can't borrow it to run to the store. ;-)
81- One of the highlights of my life was watching the Minnesota Twins winning the 1987 World Series.
82- Another was watching the New York Rangers play in Madison Square Garden.
83- I was president of my dorm when I was in college. I once ran a meeting while drunk. My girlfriend at the time was NOT impressed. Can't say that I blame her.
84- For many years, my ADD led me to try and protect myself by maintaining a self-image that defined me as someone who's quiet, reserved, and detached. In reality I'm passionate, occasionally outspoken, and very expressive and enthusiastic (Imagine my surprise when I finally admitted this to myself....). I know someone who can vouch for this.
85- The way to a man's heart really IS through his stomach.
86- And quite possibly through his zipper as well.
87- I once bought two brand new cars on the same day.
88- One didn't move for months until my first wife got her drivers license.
89- I once came close to dying in a mountain climbing accident.
90- I didn't realize how close until two years later, when several people, including a few I knew, died under almost identical conditions.
91- I haven't climbed since.
92- I had a choice between going skydiving or to a Bruce Springsteen concert on my 40th birthday. Bruce won out.
93- I still want to go skydiving.
94- I know how to blow up a bridge. No, I don't plan on putting that knowledge to use.
95- I'm scared- terrified, actually- of heights...but I've never let it stop me from doing anything.
96- Sleep apnea runs in my family. I think the reason my father had a stroke at 53 was due in part to his going undiagnosed.
97- If I win the lottery, I'm going to start a foundation and figure out good and positive ways to give away most of my winnings. Really. I've planned this for a long time.
98- Of course, I'm going to do some good things for myself first. ;-)
99- I can- and usually do- feel most alone in large crowds. Sometimes I visualize myself disappearing in a puff of smoke...and I wonder if anyone would care enough to even notice.
100- My name is Jack, and I'm a good person. I just don't always feel like one.
