OK, so I owe Kris a huge debt of gratitude for this one, eh? I'm not so certain I would be so sanguine about this brain-dead crap polluting my inbox...but then she's probably a much better person than I am. Me? I'm really not inclined to take brain-dead zealots seriously. I am, however, ready, willing, AND able to unleash the hounds. Yeah, I know; it probably sounds a bit arrogant, but what the Hell...it's my sandbox, right?? If you can't take the heat, you probably shouldn't be email-blasting this sort of crap out to everyone and their brother.
Oh, by the way...the survey to which I'm referring is after the jump. Enjoy the rich, creamy goodness...
18 November 2009
Michael Steele
Republican National Committee
1 Teabag Circle
Washington, DC
Mr. Steele:
Though I'm not a professional pollster, nor one gifted in the art of compiling survey results, even I know when I'm being fed a load of crap. Frankly, your "2009 Obama Agenda Survey" gives crap a bad name. Even by the low fundraising standards of the RNC, this "survey" is...well, craptastic. How you'll manage to glean any useful information from questions so slanted and laughably ignorant is something that will take a more adept intellect than my own to figure out. Then again, it's really only all about the Benjamins, isn't it?
Question #1 really gets your survey off to a rocking start: Do you agree with Barack Obama's budget plan that will to a $23.1 trillion national debt over the next ten years?. Gee, Mike...I don't know. I seem to recall a recent Republican President spending eight years trashing the economy and turning a balanced budget into a record deficit...and then handing that dead fish to Barack Obama. This President has been in office for ten months. Do you really think that he's demonstrated himself, in that short period, to be more inept, corrupt, and out of his element as George W. Bush, who spent eight years setting this country on the path to circling the drain?
Frankly, I don't think your questions go far enough, so I'm going to offer my (completely unsolicited) assistance gratis. Frankly, judging by the questions on your "survey", you need it. How 'bout pondering these for your next not-so-thinly-veiled fundraising/scare-mongering campaign?
Do you think Democrats should have the right to use Barack Obama's race against him? (Oops...sorry. I think Republicans already have a monopoly on that, don't they?)
Should Democrats be able to create policies that benefit their wealthy corporate benefactors...and then scare the middle class into believing that "it's for your own good" so they'll (once again) vote against their own interests? (Oh, right...Republicans already have taken the lead on that one, haven't they?)
Do you believe that Democrats should be allowed to fund two wars...to the exclusion of education, health care, and economic development? (Uh...OK; once again, it seems Republicans beat us to it. Sorry.)
Should Democrats be allowed to spend hundreds of billions of tax dollars to bail out banks and financial institutions while millions watch their unemployment benefits run out? (Uh, yeah...it WAS the Bush Administration that started the bailout ball rolling, wasn't it? Hmm...that's one very good reason why I refer to George W. Bush as The Worst President EVER.)
Should the Democratic majority be allowed to shove their Liberal, gay-loving, terrorist-enabling agenda down our throats? (Hmm...as opposed to the eight years y'all spent shoving your "I-got-mine-you-can-damn-well-get-your=own" agenda down the throats of the middle and lower classes?)
OK, so I suck at formulating survey questions. Then again, I'm not propagandizing the easily propagandized into opening their wallets to defeat the Liberal Homosexual Anti-American agenda, am I?
While I'm thinking of it, the Democratic MAJORITY isn't shoving anything down your throat. You see, here in America we have this wonderful system called "majority rules". This means that every four years, Americans go to the polls and cast their votes. These are called "elections"...and if memory serves, you lost the last one in 2008...rather handily, in fact. Your party became complacent and arrogant after stealing the 2008 Presidential election. Republicans came to view themselves as to the manor born. Well, guess what, Mike? This ain't no monarchy, knowhutimean?
If y'all are looking to get back into the saddle, if you really want to win the hearts and minds of the American people, there's a very simple solution available to you. Try dealing in the truth. Lose the propaganda, the fear-mongering, and the character assassination directed at Democrats and those who you disagree with and/or despise. You might also try figuring out how to appeal to people who don't look like you. A party of, by, and for White folks is destined to be a minority party. Yes, you're African-American, and you might think that you're proof of the diversity of the GOP. In reality, you're a mere token, a black face that lets Republicans feel good about themselves as they try to advance the interests of their race. "White Makes Right" may not be the official slogan of the Republican Party, but if you're honest you'll admit that your party is 99.9976% White...and not likely to change anytime soon. Inclusiveness is a good thing. Unfortunately for you, Republicans these days are far more interested in eating their young than in expanding their appeal beyond rabid White-centric Conservatism. Enforcing narrow, unblinking ideological fealty is not a promising way to attract new blood to the GOP.
Enjoy your minority party status...because unless y'all change direction, you're going to be there for a good, long while. Hey, if I can ever be of assistance, I'm easy to find. Don't worry, though; no one takes me seriously, anyway.... ;-)
Sincerely,
Jack R. Cluth
