November 15, 2009 7:23 AM

Oh, dear God...how will I ever be able to compete with this??

In an effort to reinvent myself, in a cut throat industry that was becoming more and more competitive the deeper I swam, I made the decision to go against the grain and remove my implants. For reasons I explain in the upcoming December 2009 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine, it was a difficult, yet necessary decision.... Will I catch flack? Of course. Will the haters attend my public tar and feathering? Without question. But will a select few readers actually take the time to get to know the real me, the girl behind the boobs, now that I've again shared my greatest secrets and fears in a most vulnerable state? Well, that's what I'm hoping for.

In an era where all of us seem to be cutting back, few seem to have embraced austerity with as much enthusiasm as Jenn Sterger, who is fortunate (and attractive) enough to find a forum for her dilemma. Lord knows I'll never be featured in Cosmo, but then again I've never been "the girl behind the boobs." (Uh...don't all girls have boobs? Isn't that, like, part of the job description?)

Sorry, but as much as I like boobs, and I know one person who will vouch for me on this point, I'm not about to go all wobbly over someone who's decided to remove her implants. Call me silly, but, as a friend would say artificial just doesn't get me hard. Real is good, and artificial goes far beyond just having fake boobs. If you seriously think that you need silicone in order to make yourself more attractive, more acceptable, or more whatever it is you think you're trying to accomplish, there's more of you that's fake than just your boobs. (Trust me, I know about being fake. I've spent most of my life channeling fake. No, I'm not about to get into the details.)

Certainly, removing the silicone from your body is a good thing, but don't be expecting me to be patting you on the back because you've decided to go back to what you were born with. I might actually care if I knew what Sterger was all about...but I don't and so I won't. Really; if the biggest crisis you have in your life revolves around your boobs, I think you're probably in pretty good shape, all things considered.

Then again, if this is what passes for austerity, we might just be in worse shape than I'd feared.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on November 15, 2009 7:23 AM.

Sad...but all too true was the previous entry in this blog.

Those who don't know history are...oh, never mind.... is the next entry in this blog.

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