January 28, 2010 5:34 AM

If a President falls in the forest, and no one's there to hear it....

I really had planned on watching the State of the Union last night. There was the prospect of the SOTU drinking game (every time Pres. Obama said "hope", you were supposed to take a shot of grain alcohol and play a round of Russian Roulette) to add some excitement, but I ended up missing it altogether. Turns out I was too busy Googling "Greg Oden's Penis"...and since my search yielded 76,400 results...well, I was kinda busy. Yeah, it was a slow news day here in Portland....

I'd actually seriously considered clearing my full to overflowing social calendar to catch the SOTU, but that lasted about a millisecond. The more I thought about it, though, I just couldn't justify giving up an hour or more of my life. For what? To listen to cheap, flowery rhetoric that's destined to die on the vine because Democrats (and the President) have no balls? Sixty-plus minutes of what could only charitably be described as white noise and/or mental masturbation? Please....

In case you may have missed the subtle hints I've dropped along the way, I'm beyond disappointed with the first year of the Obama Administration. Some many lofty ideals, so many broken promises. Along the way, Democrats have discovered the secret to turning a 59-41 majority into a functional minority, and Barack Obama has been at the head of the parade to creeping irrelevance.

Uh...didn't Democrats win the election in 2008? Don't they have solid majorities in the House AND the Senate? Why is it, then, that Congressional Democrats AND the White House assume a wide stance any time Republican says "BOO!"?

LEAD, FOLLOW...OR GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY....

Honestly, I really should stop watching the news and turn this into a gardening blog. Maybe then my blood pressure would return to something resembling normal and I could resume worrying about things that matter...like getting some nookie. Does that make me a bad person??

Perhaps the donkey symbol is no longer truly representative of today's Democratic Party. No, I'm thinking that perhaps it should be something more accurately reflects the current ideals of the party. Hmm...how about a dead muskrat? Or maybe a spineless weenie? Either one would be a more accurate depiction of the ideals of today's Democratic Party, don'tchathink?

Jeebus Krispix, y'all...grow a pair, willya??

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on January 28, 2010 5:34 AM.

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