Vancouver’s Olympic Village is short on condoms and an emergency supply has been shipped to the sex-crazed colony to ensure that each and every athlete is safe from STDs throughout the rest of their stay. This is a remarkable achievement and, according to a source close to reporters stationed in Vancouver, an Olympic first. Apparently, the 100,000 condoms provided to the Village were used up in record time. “After one week,” the source said ” most of them were already gone.” Impressive.
OK, so I understand that some of y’all might think me juvenile for enjoying this, but I’m in charge of what I enjoy here, right? Really, you have to know that it’s going to be a good day when you hop on da Interweb and see this headline first thing:
BOINK LIKE A CHAMPION TODAY: CONDOM SHORTAGE IN VANCOUVER
One hundred thousand condoms? Used up in a single week? My God, y’all…are any of y’all actually training or competing? And how is it that I never had the foresight (or the talent) to become an Olympic athlete?? Beyond that, why didn’t I buy stock in the company that makes Trojan condoms (or the company in charge of disposing with the medical waste)? I could probably have retired off the jump in their stock prices.
Just think what might have happened had engineers been able to figure out how to harness all that clean energy….
And you wonder why so many are going to be so sad to see the Winter Olympics come to a close tonight?? They did it all for the nookie….
