Despite all the rumors, I'm NOT schtupping Carla Bruni-Sarkozy

There comes a time when you just have to put the rumors to rest. Despite whatever reports you may be hearing or reading in the media, I’m not- repeat, NOT- having an affair with Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. Jeez, sometimes people just start rumors because…I don’t know, it’s almost like they’re just trying to attract attention. Losers, all of them. For the record, I’ve never even been to Paris. ;-)