March 20, 2010 7:26 AM

So, you think I'm not worth s--t? Au contraire, mon ami....

(thanks to Brian Kane for this one….)

“This dial is shit, isn’t it?” asks the company’s press materials for the watch, called the “Coprolite,” which means fossilized animal dung…. “A relic of the Jurassic period, it has taken millions of years for this organic substance to embrace its present warm and matchless tints,” states the press release from Artya, sounding like something out of a J. Peterman catalogue parody ala Seinfeld. “In its mineral aspect, it forcefully underscores the pristine strength emanating from the very dawn of life.”

So, I’ve got a birthday coming up (April 18th, in case anyone needs a head start of their shopping)…and since I’ll be turning 50 I’ve been thinking it would be nice to do something special. Sure, I’ve had my eye on a Ford F650 for awhile now, but fitting it into my garage would be impossible…never mind the ecological irresponsibility inherent in driving such a behemoth. ‘Course, the idea that I could potentially crush anyone who might cut me off in traffic DOES pique my interest…. ;-)

There have been other ideas that have come and gone, interesting initially but upon further examination not really what I was looking for. Then it hit me. Something that I can almost guaran-damn-tee you that no one else around me has - a watch made of…wait for it…shit. And we’re not talking common, garden-variety fecal matter, either. No, we’re talking about dung from a plant-eating animal that died, oh, about 100 million years ago. To make this watch even more special, the band is made from the blackened skin of American cane toads. OK, so perhaps the folks at PETA aren’t going to be high on the Coprolite watch, but damnit, I’m turning 50…and I think I deserve something special. If a few cane toads have to be dispatched to the Big Lily Pad in the Sky in order to make my day…well, then so be it.

So, y’all have a month. I WANT…. ;-)

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on March 20, 2010 7:26 AM.

When you do it, it's Socialism. When we do it, it's standing up for morality. was the previous entry in this blog.

Government of, by, and for the rich...our tax dollars at work. Or not. is the next entry in this blog.

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