More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
- Woody Allen
OK, so the headline’s a bit silly and perhaps even overly simplistic. Hey, I no longer even live in Texas…so I might as well be allowed to have a bit of fun, eh? Silliness aside, though, there is an element of truth at work here…because the choice facing Texas voters couldn’t be more stark. It’s pretty simple, really: the same tired dogmatic Conservatism…or proving to the rest of the country that Texans are capable of doing something other than resorting to knee-jerk self-interest and fear-mongering. Darkness or light; Texans have eight months to choose…like there’s any doubt. Yesterday’s primaries just set the field for November’s pre-ordained coronation.
I lived in Texas for 10+ years. I think I have a pretty good idea of how the majority of Texans will cast their votes. In the end, Texans will get EXACTLY the quality of representation they deserve. They’ll scurry away from the light like frightened cockroaches, voting for four more years of Rick Perry’s brain-dead, sclerotic Conservatism. The uber-Christian wingnuts who dominate the Texas GOP will be besides themselves in paroxysms of orgasmic, orgiastic, self-righteous piety. Texans will once again be poorer for their unwillingness to do anything other than what they’ve been indoctrinated to do- vote for the Republican. That your average Texan couldn’t tell you what Rick Perry has done if their life depended on it is beside the point. That Bill White makes Governor Goodhair look like a mental midget matters less than White’s one big flaw in the eyes of Texans- he’s a Democrat. To most Texans, White could be a Satanist, a Saints fan, and/or a vegetarian and get away with it. Running for statewide office in Texas as a Democrat…well, you might as well have “pedophile” featured prominently on your campaign ads and be featured on the state’s sex offender registry.
White has eight months to make his case that Rick Perry is an empty suit. Perry certainly is that, but Texans are so well indoctrinated that they’d voted for a ham sandwich if it had an “R” after it. It’s too bad, really, because Bill White has a phenomenal track record, one that makes Perry’s record as the incumbent look horribly inadequate. A successful businessman and Mayor of Houston, White put what had been a fairly dysfunctional city government back on track. White increased efficiency and accountability, supervised Houston’s comeback from Hurricane Ike, and left the country’s fourth-largest city in far better shape than he found it. Rick Perry couldn’t lead a pack of hungry Girl Scouts to a Dairy Queen…and yet he will still likely win in a walk. Yet another reason I (don’t) miss Texas….
