March 3, 2010 7:39 AM

The monthly meeting of the Brotherhood of the Tiny Penis will come to order....

You know, I never cease to marvel at the ability of wealthy White (and male) demagogues to convince themselves that they (rightfully) rule the world. Amazing, isn’t it, how haters can decide that they are and should be the ultimate, God-ordained authority? “White Makes Right” has become far more than a cheap slogan these days; it’s become Gospel for a growing number of angry, disaffected White Folks who see their previously heretofore unquestioned position at the top of the food chain as being called into question. How else do you explain Right-wing extremist groups increasing 244% over the past year? Even the Department of Homeland (In)Security has noticed that Right-wing hate groups are on the rise. And isn’t it telling that Right-wing hate groups are overwhlelmingly (if not completely) White? Perhaps I’m missing something here, but there seems to be a pronounced lack of Hispanic or Asian hate groups. Hmm…perhaps those folks are too busy trying to do something positive instead of figuring out who to blame? Just a thought….

And if I may digress for just a moment, I’m wondering how we got to a place where it’s now fairly widespread, if not quite acceptable, to harass innocent IRS employees? Yes, I understand the IRS is another target for the Right-wing hate-mongers…but targeting innocent men and women who are merely doing their jobs? How black does your heart have to be in order to stoop this low? Like I don’t already know the answer….

Of course, if there’s one thing upon which Conservative males tend to tacitly agree that they hate, it’s women. How else do you explain Governor Goodhair congratulating The Worst President EVER © for “saving lives”? In part because of his efforts, “crisis pregnancy centers” have now become mainstream. Harassing and deceiving pregnant women is no crime if you’re White, Christian, Republican, and Hell-bent on “saving lives.” Women are property, after all, and a uterus is little more than a vessel that should by rights fall under the rational overview of men. Women are just far too emotional to be trusted to make decisions regarding their reproductive functions.

Few Presidents in our history have done more to enshrine the concept of women as property in the public lexicon as Commander Codpiece ©. Yessiree…if God had intended for women to have control over their bodies, he would have given them penises….

While we’re on the subject of protecting life, perhaps y’all can clear something up for me. How is it that the Village Idiot © can receive an award for “protecting life” when his illegal war in Iraq has sent close to 5000 young Americans home in flag-draped boxes? And when this country accounts for 48% of all the military spending IN THE WORLD? I may not be the most linear of thinkers, but even I’m having trouble rationalizing that one. Protecting life?? So the moral of the story is that the wingnuts love babies but hold an adult life to be far less valuable? Not that this is at all hypocritical….

In closing, I’d be remiss not to give credit where credit is due. The Worst President EVER © is single-handedly responsible for the surge in business for the prosthetic limb industry. Who says the man did nothing but destroy our economy just in time to dump the rotting carcass on Barack Obama?

This must be why God is a Republican, eh?

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on March 3, 2010 7:39 AM.

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