Do Not Go To Kmart In Speedos And Terrorize Customers With A Sex Toy. Hmm...file this under "Things not to do when you're in Panama Beach, FL, and have had a few too many brewskis."
7 Reasons Why Curling Is Not A Sport (With Photo Evidence). Any activity in which you can compete while wearing makeup and Chanel earrings should not expect to be considered a sport.
Chili's Texas Cheese Fries Named Worst In America. "Deadliest" French Fries?? Yeah, well, the cheese, bacon, and ranch dressing won't win any fans over at Weight Watchers, but if you're ordering French Fries, you're not likely worried about fat and calories, knowhutimean??
The Best And Worst Ways Saturday Night Live Could Use Betty White. Betty White is the BOMB!!!
Frankly My Dear Gaffney, You're Nuts!. Sure, I could call Frank Gaffney a blithering idiot (which he most certainly is)...but why worry, when I can let Madeleine Begun Kane, who's far funnier than I could ever hope to be.
Chile Earthquake Proves White People Loot Too. Remember, kids...it's not racism if it's demonstrably true. Looting is looting, regardless of the skin colors of the perpetrators.
CBS Sued Over Penis Surgery Show. Well, the did say not to try it at home...didn't they??
World's First Commercial Jetpack Goes On Sale. I think I just figured out what I want for my birthday.... ;-)
