(Thanks to Art Lynch: “It’s getting even bleaker than you think down here in Baja Oklahoma…. Pardon the language, but we’re f——d!”)
It’s been said that Americans generally get the quality of representation they deserve. I know it’s been said, because I’ve been the one saying it for years. This is particularly true in Texas, where last week’s primary yielded results that no reasonable person could have predicted under any circumstances. Then again, this is Texas we’re talking about, so limiting the discussion to reasonable people is significantly thinning the herd. Man, if the primaries are this much fun, I can hardly wait until the general election in November.
First, there’s Tony Cunningham, a Republican candidate for the State Board of Edumication, who won his Republican primary. This despite being apparently unable to speak in complete sentences…and being completely unaware of what the position actually entails.
Here’s a guy who pays a $300 filing fee to run for the District 3 State Board of Education seat, does little or no campaigning, can’t answer a straight question, stays home election night and learns of his victory in a phone call from his mother.
In an interview with radio talk-show host Adam McManus on AM 630 KSLR this week, Cunningham said he filed for the SBOE post because he thought it was a paid position.
Uh, wait…you mean I don’t get my own helicopter and call girl??
Then there’s Rick Green, a Republican candidate for the Texas Supreme Court, who managed to win his primary despite what could charitably be called a tenuous grip on ethical standards. Hey, the guy’s a lawyer and a Christian…and we all know that in Texas those two adjectives convey special powers and a free pass when it comes to ethical standards mere mortals are expected to adhere to.
While in the Legislature, Green also drew criticism for successfully pushing the Texas Parole Board to release a man who owed $400,000 to a company his father owned and, according to The Dallas Morning News, pressured lobbyists to donate to his Torch of Freedom Foundation, which sponsors the Patriot Academy, a program for young adults “to learn about America’s system of government from a Biblical worldview” — essentially a summer boot camp for politically minded conservative teens and 20-somethings.
You see, the problem with politics here in Oregon is that it’s BORING. The political climate here is nowhere near as Jesus-y or neoApocalyptic as Texas…and frankly, it puts me to sleep. (Quick…can anyone even tell me who the Governor of Oregon is? No? I suspected as much. It’s Ted Kulongoski…and no, don’t get me started on how phenomenally freakin’ boring the man is. He makes Harry Reid look like Eric Massa.).
I may hate Texas (and I truly do), but man, do I miss the politics or what??
