Sometimes, I wish I was a better person….
As I suspect is probably true with most folks, a milestone in life finds reflecting on certain aspects of my life. In my case, it’s the recognition that there are times when I can allow my passion to get the best of me. There are times when I find myself so thoroughly and completely into a situation that extricating myself proves to be complicated, messy, and exceedingly painful. I want to be the bigger person. I want to forgive, forget, and walk away…but I’m finding it an phenomenally difficult thing to do when you consider that the wound has been reopened and salt reapplied.
I wish I was the kind of person who could simply shut it down and toss it all aside, like it never mattered in the first place. Unfortunately, it did matter, and more than I was willing to admit to myself. I can wish that it had never happened, but there’s no effective way to unring a bell. Would that I could find it within myself to forgive…but that’s proving to be a moving target.
I wish I was a better person….