May 7, 2010 6:01 AM

Things I think I might be thinking....

It’s Friday…which means it’s time for WWJD’s semi-regular “Almost too stupid for words” edition….

Sarah Palin Says The Lesson From Oil Spill Is To Not Trust Foreigners. WTF?? Right…because ONLY Americans are capable of handling such complex systems. Stupid, intellectually stunted, AND xenophobic? Uh, remind me again what exactly the appeal of Caribou Barbie is supposed to be??

Speaking At Trade Association Funded By BP, Gov. Perry Claims Rig Disaster Is An ‘Act Of God’. Halliburton was involved, so how could it be anything BUT an act of God?? Jeebus, does Rick Perry even have a functional brain cell??

GOP’s Candidate for Gov In Minnesota Wants To Nullify All Federal Laws. Because NO ONE tells a REAL American what they can or can’t do.

“Hey Dad, Why Does This Country Protect Billionaires, and Not Teachers?”. Perhaps because we consistently elect people that do the bidding of billionaires and ignore our interests. We get EXACTLY the quality of leadership we deserve.

Cake Typo Gives Bobby “Cocks” An Excellent Post-Baseball Porn Name. Wait…before you go off with the “See, I told the Senate can’t do anything right” jokes…ah, Hell, knock yourself out….

Elisabeth Hasselbeck SLAMS Erin Andrews’ Clothing, Excuses Stalker. What is it about so many Conservative talking heads that makes them feel as if they’re the ultimate arbiter when it comes to fashion, decency, and morality? And under WHAT circumstances is stalking OK? Well, apparently when Elisabeth Hasselbeck says it is. Man, when you’re an asshole….

Chase Utley’s Dirty Underwear Can Be Yours. Yes, kids; you can get ANYTHING on Craigslist. Best of all…it hasn’t been washed, and it’s from the 2008 World Series. Eww….

GOP Turns Home Footage Of Candidate Into Sex-Themed Attack Ad. When you have nothing constructive to offer, some good, old-fashioned character assassination oughta do the trick.

Fox Refuses To Carry Energy Independence Ad. The ad was put together by VoteVets, a nonpartisan organization. I’ve seen it; there’s nothing inflammatory about it…but when you’re Fox Noise Channel, nothing gets aired unless it parrots the (GOP) party line. And we all know that Republicans do everything short of fellating oil company executives.

Sens. Kyl And Roberts Pretend Republicans Never Embraced The Slogan ‘Drill, Baby, Drill’. Republican Rule #1: If you can’t convincingly ignore reality, lying is always a good strategy. Republican Rule #2: When in doubt, refer to Republican Rule #1.

Cantor says Americans are ‘better than’ everyone else. This is the definition of arrogance. American Exceptionalism: it’s not bragging if we really ARE better than everyone else…and we are.

Jennifer Aniston Eats Baby Food To Lose Weight. Eh, I got nothin’…I can’t even imagine where to begin….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on May 7, 2010 6:01 AM.

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