(thanks to Stacy Lynne for this one….)
So, ladies, you say you want a raise? How should you go about getting it? First, you have to figure out how to compete with the guy in the next cubicle. After all, he went to a school almost as good as yours. His grades were nearly as good as yours, too. He works hard. In fact, most mornings, he’s the second person in the office. You know this, because you’re always first. He is young, ruggedly good looking, and he washes his balls with a manly but fresh sandalwood soap. What to do? Fortunately, the good folks at Women’s Day and Summer’s Eve have a few words of advice for you.
It’s been said that a woman has to be twice as good as a man in order to be considered half as competent. A woman earns, on average, something like 60 cents for every dollar a man earns. Of course, I’m not a sociologist, and I can’t vouch for that assertion, but it doesn’t take a Ph.D. in Women’s Studies to understand that equality of the sexes is too often merely a nice, but still very abstract concept.
So, ladies…if you want to compete and hold your own in the knockdown, drag-out, (&^%-your-buddy business world, how do you stand out? How do you compensate for the unfortunate reality that you lack the one thing that makes men such incredible, knuckle-dragging morons world-class horn dogs best-suited for competition: a penis?
Well, I’m not sure I can answer that question for you, but thanks to the good people at Women’s Day and Summer’s Eve, I don’t have to. I’ll just let you read their advice for yourself. I’m not sure I can do it justice.
In the meantime, I’ll be filing this under “Yet another reason I’m glad I was born male”.
