September 24, 2010 6:24 AM

Welcome to the New World Order

Yesterday morning, as I normally do most days, I walked into the 24 Hour Fitness just down the street. The normal routine is that whatever Sweet Young (usually petite, blonde, and uber-perky) Thing is manning the front desk says “hello” routinely, smiles at me vacantly, and scans my membership card to verify that I’m not a threat to their business model. It’s bland, it’s banal, and it’s over quickly enough so as not to be annoying. Hey, someone has to guard the gate to the Kingdom, right? Fair enough….

Except that this morning was different. The Sweet Young Thing at the front desk smiled and told me that they’re doing something different now. Great, I thought through my sour, over-caffeinated haze, now I have to learn a new mindless routine. Just what I need to make my morning just a wee bit brighter, eh? Ugh….

It turns out the 24 Hour Fitness is rolling out some fancy new bioergometrogastrorgasmic (at least, I think that’s what she called it) system that no longer requires that I always bring my membership card with me. Now, all I have to do is to enter a 10-digit number, scan one of my index fingers, and provide a urine sample. OK, so I made up the part about the urine sample…but this whole thing has set me to wondering about the wisdom of all the wondrous technology at our finger tips.

As Sweet Young Thing was explaining the system to me, I kept thinking…What? No retina scan? No blood or DNA sample? What’s the next logical step? A sperm count? (Hmm…that would explain the Penthouse I saw in the men’s locker room….) Where does it end? Or I am working myself into a lather over something that ultimately is of little more concern than the old, relatively low-tech means we used to employ to prove that we are who we say we are? I’m not trying to be a Luddite, but part of me wonders how much more of ourselves we’re going to be required to offer up in order to exist in the New Technological Order. Does (and should) technology have its limits? Is there a point where enough is simply too much, too intrusive, and too invasive? I’m not saying that I have the answer, or even that I know what questions we should be asking. That’s a debate for intellects far more nimble than my own. Still, even I have to wonder where (or even if) the process can logically be expected to end.

Now, about that sperm sample….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on September 24, 2010 6:24 AM.

So, how's that whole "Global War on Terror" thing working for you? was the previous entry in this blog.

It's a good thing smoking is so sexy, eh? is the next entry in this blog.

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