I got to the Centers for Disease Control and I’m concerned about health, I find some interesting stats there and this should tell me something about health. Homosexual/bi-sexual individuals are seven times more likely to contemplate or commit suicide. Oooh, that doesn’t sound very healthy. Homosexuals die decades earlier than heterosexuals. That doesn’t sound healthy. Nearly one-half of practicing homosexuals admit to 500 or more sex partners and nearly one-third admit to a thousand or more sex partners in a lifetime…. I mean, you go through all this stuff, sounds to me like that’s not very healthy. Why don’t we regulate homosexuality?
It’s become an article of faith among those on the Far Right that small government is good government. What business does government have in the lives of Americans, anyway? Government only gets in the way of Americans doing what they need to do in order to be prosperous and move this country forward…so lets get government off the back of Americans and out of their lives. Yay, America!!
Sounds good, right? At least it does until you begin to pay attention and read between the lines. In the case of David Barton, a truly despicable excuse for a human being, government is to be used to regulate the lives and lifestyles of those he and people who think like him despise and disapprove of. While a true Conservative will advocate for smaller, less intrusive government across the board, Barton’s idea would literally involve putting the government into the bedrooms of Americans- particularly homosexual Americans.
‘Course, if you want to look at the bright side, Barton’s idea would be a fabulous way to end the unemployment crisis facing this country. When you think of the number of people it would take to make Barton’s idea a reality, it would represent the largest government works program in this country’s history. The downside, of course, is that I’m not at all certain that being stationed in a gay couple’s bedroom is a job that any reasonable, lucid person could possibly want. Still, in a down economy, it’s a job, right?? Most likely, the government would need to stage a major recruiting drive in evangelical churches nationwide…because who’d be better suited to monitoring the private behavior of homosexuals than those whose religious beliefs justify the hatred and repression of homosexuals?
Hypocrisy: it’s not just a bad idea; it’s David Barton’s stock in trade. Hmm…I’m thinking that someone might want to clue him in as to the meaning of “Conservative” and “small government”.
I just hope that Hell will be big enough to hold him and his legacy of uber-Jesus-y hatred of The Other (anyone who doesn’t think, believe, worship, live, or love as he does).