Fox News Falls For Report Of LA Spending $1 Billion On Jetpacks. When you’re “not exactly the news”, this is about all you can reasonably expect.
National Review Writers Defend County Whose Subscription-Only Firefighters Watched Home Burn Down. When you see a world populated by jerks, freeloaders, and ingrates, then you probably enjoy watching those lesser mortals suffer the consequences of their moral turpitude, eh?
Dick Armey Wants To Completely Eliminate Any Federal Funding For Higher Education. Because if God had meant for children to be edumicated, they would have been born into wealthy families. Besides, some has to work at our WalMarts.
Orrin Hatch: Drug Test Lazy Welfare People. What…like the drug test will tell you why someone’s poor?
Christina Hendricks: Women & Gay Men Hit On Me. Oh, you poor thing…how DO you handle the indignity of it all??
Cantor: Jewish Americans Are Democrats Because They ‘Are Prone To Want To Help The Underdog’. And assholes are Republicans because they respect only two things: money and power…and no one ever achieved either by looking out for the underdog.
Whitman Has Now Spent $140M On Her CA-GOV Campaign. With any luck, perhaps she spends her way to poverty before being humiliated on November 2nd.
Glenn Beck Glad Some Family’s House Burnt Down, Restores Honor and Hope. Because America is tired of lazy, freeloading scumbags…and compassion is the opiate of the masses!
It Had To Happen: The Christine O’Donnell Witch Doll. Are you a good witch…or a bad witch? Does it really even matter?
Fox News: Jet Ski Pirate Mexicans Are Murdering Americans. OMIGOD!!! MEXICANS ARE RIGHT NOW, EVEN AS WE SPEAK, RIDING JET-SKIS AND LOOKING FOR AMERICANS TO MURDER!!! BE AFRAID!!! NO WHITE PERSON IS SAFE…ANYWHERE!!!
Woman Accidentally Superglues Eye Shut. THOSE AREN’T EYE DROPS!!!
Mother Who Duct-Taped Child to the Wall Gets Her Son Back. Hey, come on, now…it’s not like she REALLY abused her son by feeding him Chicken McNuggets.
