I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. “You don’t have to tell me,” I said. “I’m off the team, aren’t I?” “Well,” said Coach, “you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you’re wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times.” It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that’s when I felt the handcuffs go on.
- Jack Handy
If you’re like me- always wondering where you can find high-quality sex toys- and you happen to live in Alabama (which, thankfully, I don’t)…well, life just got a little bit better. Alabama now has a sex toy store of it’s very own…and- be still my foolish heart- it has three drive through lanes.
Wouldja like fries wi’ dat??
Technically, selling sex toys is illegal in Alabama, but with some clever repackaging (“adult happiness maximization devices”?) all should quickly be on the up-and-up. Besides, who could possibly have any problems with happy adults, eh? I know I like it when this adult’s happy…. ;-)
Of course, this being Alabama, I should probably start taking bets on when the good, God-fearing, Christian White Folks begin protesting this dispensary of “adult happiness maximization devices” as being an abomination before our Lord and Savior. The fear that someone, somewhere, might be engaging in some consensual happiness maximization will no doubt prove to be enough to make someone’s head explode.
We can only hope….
Party on….
