Like many of us, I’m taking some time today to ponder the things in my life that I’m thankful for. I’m fortunate in that I really do have so many things to give thanks for. In some respects, it’s been a difficult year. Then again, it’s been a year of discovery and learning about who I am and what I really, truly want out of life…and yes, I’m thankful for the growth and the heartache that walked hand in hand.
I’m still unemployed, as I have been since the end of January. While this reality is certainly not without a fair amount of stress, I discovered some time ago that this could destroy me only if I decided to allow that to happen. Never in a million years would I have guessed that I would still be unemployed after 10 months, but those ten months have allowed me to do some wonderful things, including engaging in a degree of introspection and self-examination that I might not have done had I been employed and very busy.
I’m thankful that I’m in a good place financially, which has allowed me to weather this year in a frame of mind that feels a lot like I’m on sabbatical. For my peace of mind, I’ve decided to treat this period of my life as if I am on sabbatical…because in a very real sense I am. By taking this approach, I’ve been able to keep my spirits up and take advantage of this time…because, really, how many of us have an opportunity like this? No, it’s not all sweetness and light; it’s not that I’ve haven’t struggled emotionally over the past 10 months. Far from it. When I begin to head down that path, though, I remind myself how truly fortunate I am to be in the financial situation I am. I’ve been able to pay my rent through the end of May, 2011, my car is paid off, and I have no credit card debt. I’m not jetting off to Beverly Hills every other weekend, but I’m doing all right…especially when you consider that there are people in situations far worse than my own.
I don’t have a family to feed, so I’m not having to fret about how I’m going to put food on the table. I understand that things could be a whole lot worse…and so I’m choosing to be thankful for life as it is. I can feed myself, I have a roof over my head, and I have more books than I could hope to read in the next year.
I’m very thankful for having someone in my life who’s helped me to understand the need for and the importance of getting to know who I am. It’s been an interesting, challenging, and exceedingly difficult prospect for someone like myself, given that I’ve spent my life protecting myself because of my ADD. When you spend your entire life feeling as if something is wrong with you, and that belief is enforced by those around you, it’s hard not to internalize that message and make it what amounts to a raison d’etre. With a lot of understanding and love helping me along, I feel as if, while I still don’t have a lot of answers, I at least have a better idea of what questions I need to be asking. That, at least in my world, is progress.
There’s a debt of gratitude that I know I can never hope to repay…but perhaps repaying that debt can mean being there and being supportive in ways that I’m best equipped to do. Perhaps repayment means learning how to be the most honest and real person that I can be. Perhaps that’s really what it’s all about.
The rich things, the wonderful things…the things really, truly worth having don’t come easily. When they do come, you can bet I’m going to be, and am, thankful to have them in my life.
Yes, like most of y’all, I have much to be thankful for…and I truly am. When I look at my life, I realize that it would be easy to find things I could complain about…and yet I want no part of that. I want to focus on the things that I’ve been blessed with…and that makes for a long and wonderful list. I may not know what the future holds, and I can’t do a thing about the past, but the present is looking pretty good. Yes, kids; it does not suck to be Jack these days. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
DAMN, but it’s good to be King…. ;-)
Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!
