WASHINGTON—A CNN/Gallup Poll released Monday revealed that a vast majority of registered male voters would have strongly supported a naked woman in the 2010 midterm elections. The online survey found that regardless of political philosophy or party affiliation, 85 percent of American men in every ethnic, age, and socioeconomic group consistently chose a completely nude woman over a Democratic, Republican, or independent candidate…. “Male voters from 18 to 85 were shown pictures of the candidates running in the midterms elections and then a picture of a naked lady,” head pollster Gerald Walton said. “Across the board, they favored the naked lady.”…. “Even in highly contested Senate races in Colorado, Nevada, and Pennsylvania, it would have been a naked-lady sweep,” Walton added. “And a naked woman would have easily been elected governor in all 37 states where the office was up for grabs.”
From the Institute for the Study of the Blindingly Obvious comes news of a study whose results should surprise..well, no one, really. This analysis shows that Democrats clearly missed their chance to carry the midterms by whiffing on what should have been an obvious opportunity. If only they could have seen their way clear to running a bevy of attractive, naked women, Democrats could have won from coast to coast, thus assuring that President Obama would have a clear path to work on keeping the promises he made during the 2008 campaign.
How do I know this? Well, because the committed journalists at The Onion tell me so. You can check out their story here, but be sure to exercise appropriate caution, pardner. It’s NSFW…because, not surprisingly, there’s a picture of a topless woman there (go figure). I’m not sure what she was running for…but, yeah, I would have voted for her. And I’m thinking you probably would have as well.
News flash: Men are pigs. Talk to the breasts. Film @ 11….
