November 23, 2010 5:57 AM

Things I think I might be thinking....

Oklahoma man’s pickup, stolen in Portland, turns out to be, well, not stolen. I used to have a rule that any woman I dated had to be able to remember where I parked…because I never could. This is why that rule made sense.

Key West passports a threat to U.S. security? Uh…wouldn’t any Customs agent with half a brain know that the Conch Republic is a state of mind and not an actual sovereign country?

‘Were the Bush tax cuts good for growth?’ The short- and blindingly obvious- answer is “NO!”. Actually, it’s “HELL, NO!!”

Fort Worth teacher in student sex scandal is pregnant. A summa cum loudly graduate of the Mary Kay LeTourneau School of Education….

Mesa man takes hostage, throws beer bottles at officers, police say. Beer: the cause of, and solution to, all of Mankind’s problems.

Perry Suggests U.S. Should Consider Sending Military to Mexico. Unilaterally invading a sovereign country…it’s the American Way, no?

No room at the inn for too-young Bakersfield honeymooners. Yep, you’re old enough to fight and die for your country…but not old enough to schtup your wife in one of our swanky rooms on your wedding night.

Attorney: Man Dealing With Poison Ivy, Not Masturbating. Uh…if the only other option is Poison Ivy, I think I’d have to go with spanking the monkey, knowhutimean??

Judge sets high bond for Boise woman charged with fooling others into bar-room breast exams. Odd; that strategy has NEVER worked for me….

Woman buys what she thought was a brand new cell phone but what she got was far from new. WOW!! THANKS FOR THE PORN, GRANDMA!!

Here’s a Drunk Girl Stuck Inside a Dryer. And you thought you had a rough night….

Reporting - publicity = news. Ignore this equation, and what you end up with is Fox Noise Channel.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on November 23, 2010 5:57 AM.

Is that a bomb in your shorts...or are you just glad to see me?? was the previous entry in this blog.

Somewhere warm and breezy, Howard Beale is smiling is the next entry in this blog.

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