Burger King Manager, Worker Fired Over ‘F—- You’ Receipt: Early-Morning Trip Humiliates Customer. Uh, you ordered breakfast from Burger King. How high can your standards possibly be??
US Navy helps stranded Iranian sailors in Gulf. Tonight’s tease on Iran News: “Great Satan refuses to allow valiant Iranian sailors meet Allah. Film @ 11!!”
TSA Won’t Grope John Boehner. Don’t worry; I wouldn’t touch him with a 10-foot pole myself.
School retracts ban on pencils. Is our children learning? Eh, not so much….
Sex offender treatment supervisor charged with indecent exposure. Well, at least now he can speak from experience.
Tigard High School principal cited in complaint to Teacher Standards and Practices Commission. Here in Oregon, it’s NEVER too early to begin indoctrinating students. Hey, if you don’t force-feed them Christian dogma, before long they’re going to be thinking for themselves. Do you want our children to turn into…GASP!!…Liberals???
Abortion-by-Vote Probably a Pro-Life Stunt. These people are scum. Period.
A Watched Bridge Never Implodes. Professionalism: you might want to look for it somewhere else.
Someone Wants To Sell Us A Photo Of Hippie-Hater Ricky Stanzi Smoking Pot. The starting QB at the University of Iowa REALLY loves America…and he REALLY hates Commies, Hippies, and Libruls. ‘Course, that doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy the occasional toke…right?? FILM @ 11!!
Forgotten Starlet Delighted to Discover People Still Want to Take Her Picture. Hey…didn’t you used to be Mischa Barton??
Clown-Masked Robber Surprises Woman On Toilet: Akron Woman Says She Thought About Doing ‘Ninja Stuff’. Uh…didja ever stop to consider that you just might have broken into the wrong house??
Thousands Of Aborted Fetuses Found In Thai Temple. Say hello to the creepiest new story EVER. Even worse, Operation Rescue has announced that it plans to open an office in Bangkok.
